Somewhat Twisted Thoughts of the Day

If love is a game I need a referee If sex is a game I want instant re-play I played the game of life but fouled out Life stinks (Forgot to take a shower his morning) Just my luck, life was but a dream and my alarm went off Does a bear sh-t in the woods? (Don't think Polar Bears do) When pigs fly, my windshield's in BIG trouble The egg came before the chicken but some fool sat on it I want to fly like an eagle but I have a fear of heights NEVER venture outdoors when it's raining cats and dogs Maggots began the tradition of getting married in June She told me to go fly a kite but the take-off was rather chaotic Two neighbors gossiped over an electric fence and were shocked at the news If you need someone to lean on make sure they don't have Vertigo A new cemetery employee is often assigned to the graveyard shift A harried and harassed mother accidentally threw the bath water out with the baby Due to inflation, every time it rains it rains, quarters from heaven I took the money and ran but ran into an old friend...