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Shed the Shadow

Jay Loveless Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Shed the Shadow which was written by poet Jay Loveless. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Shed the Shadow

Oh how he watches me in the shadow of his tree,
strong, bold and blocking out the glare of the sun.
He claims I shine like the stars, the moon, brighter than them all, 
A blazing comet, a speeding fireball.
He stands close and my sparks ignite a fire, 
They shower down upon his figure, 
warm and yet his skin does not singe,
Nor does he burn or go blind when staring at my radiance.

When first he lay eyes upon my naked form, 
Heart mangled and organs thrust out into the world,
My skin quivered as fear closed a dark cloud around me.
He pushed through it with a soft light,
Barely gleaming so as to not hurt my eyes.
Gentle touch to my cheek with not pity but understanding, 
Like a Shepard to a lost lamb he tended to my wounds.
He spoke with intelligence and honesty,
and watched as slowly I stood and then grew.
Shedding the shadow in which I had once lived
He tended my soul until I bloomed

Galaxies away I felt the touch of his love,
He threw his faith and his hope at me, 
Feeding from the power he saw.
A hummingbird to nectar,
And I was his flower, growing high in the sun.
He whispered great stories to me 
saying, oh, powerful one,
Live in beauty and laugh often,
Ride through the winds like a spoken memory, 
Pictures engraved in the heart of a tree,
Be the beauty, the power you wish to be.

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  1. Date: 11/3/2013 2:29:00 PM
    The most romantic and uplifting dedicated composition I know Jay - the final verse is so potent in wisdom and smooth, elegant beauty - scintillating nourishment my beautiful friend - an indisputable masterpiece & FAV>!!!!!!!!! - J.A.B. %

    Loveless Avatar Jay Loveless
    Date: 11/4/2013 8:04:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Im glad you liked it Justin, It joys me to hear it :)
  1. Date: 10/31/2013 7:22:00 AM
    Uplifting & a refresh of the heart & mind. This was great. What I'd like to see is a more effective "spacing" of your lines. They're effective in of itself. But, it can have a stronger impact when spaced out right or stanzas, if you will. Just a thought on this. Again, this was damn good and a vital message for all who just don't know how or why they need to shed their walls.

    Loveless Avatar Jay Loveless
    Date: 10/31/2013 8:44:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Lol thats what I did actually, to get it right, I read it outloud and saw where I would pause. I suppose sometimes I forget because there are some writes that I do where my words are a flurry as if the person reading is getting caught up in a current and carried away
    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes
    Date: 10/31/2013 8:37:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    This is a good improvement. Definitely. =) The pauses in a writing are important, so as to allow the reader to catch their breath. More important for you, the writer, to catch your breathe when/if you ever read your work aloud.
    Loveless Avatar Jay Loveless
    Date: 10/31/2013 7:49:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Is that better? I greatly appreciate the advice. I admit, when I wrote this it was quite late and I wasn't thinking much about the appearance or format. Sometimes I forget to go back though and edit a bit to make it better suited. So, like I said, I greatly appreciate your advice :)