No matter how many times I go to sleep,
And reach comforting visions inside my dreams,
I always wake up with the same discomforts from before,
Another night is only another reprieve from horror,
Never again do I want to wake up to this misery.
How lost I am among many who know their paths,
Everywhere I turn I find more confusion and mystery,
Losing my way is all I tend to do, and nothing is better,
Perhaps I should find sleep for eternity instead of these stays.
Maybe my mind might move me hand to hasten such destruction,
Even the tormented receive peace. Should I pursue my own?
People don't seem to understand--I am not who I was,
Leave your jokes and accusations away from me,
Each time you call me smart or genius it marks me,
And don't expect perfection or 100's from me.
Sure, they are commonplace, but they're undeserved.
Entreat me with your belief--I do not try.
Now I have written all of it down.
All of you can take me for myself.
I am unworthy and evil. Do not help me.
About my life, I'll manage.
Nothing can keep me from life, except death.