Rivers of tears, flowing from fears,
beginning to dry, it has become harder to cry,
knowing, accepting, no more rejecting ?,
the loss of – what for years was a sin’
- that being the world I lived in. -
It all now seems to be over
even those beautiful moments, in Port Dover,
I will remember, look back, breath deep and sigh,
realizing – in the game – not to love, not to fly.
There was you - no we - and I accept, you win.
I will live with the pain that sears my heart from within.
My soul, my spirit steers a new coarse
with hopes of finding a new source
that will guide me though this light so dim,
beyond it’s harsh grip, beyond it’s wide rim.
I am tripping, faltering upon the path, home-
ward-bound – no longer the desire to roam
upon turbulent oceans, rolling seas, shores lined in foam
as their waves, wash over my shore line dome
presiding over this body - lying on the shore –
that may never rise again, may walk, never more
with the beauty, with the beautiful, for
she is not, nor would be – mine
to savor, to hold, on this plane, in this time.
For all time, I wanted feel her deeply.
I wanted to experience her, know her completely.
The Lady, was always on the run.
Chasing her was always a bit of fun.
Now I believe, with me, she is done.
I often think of the stories we could have written,
if only, like me, she was smitten.
If only, like me, by the love bug, she had been bitten.
Within my heart, an inferno was a burning !
Within her heart, not a spark of yearning
and now, an end – no more pages to be a turning.
There is this possibility, all this is in my imagination
and for her, all my thought are but an aggravation.
She may be coming at me from a totally different place
making every thing I have written – a slap in the face !
Will I ever know ?, what is behind the games she plays,
as far away from me as she seems to be, and as she stays
so far from my reach, so far from my touch.
No more !, for me it has been far to much !
B. J. “A” 2
January 23rd 2009