Home » Poems » Carol Sunshine Brown » On Track

On Track

cheese lies on the floor
mouse makes his way to the cheese
cat runs for the mouse

naturehaiku

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Brian Pierre-Alexander

Date: 1/30/2012 8:18:00 PM

Like Debra Tom and Jerry came to mind right away...LOL!

Jim Brewer

Date: 1/30/2012 6:18:00 PM

Made me smile. Thank you. Jim

Debra Squyres

Date: 1/30/2012 8:33:00 AM

My mind went immediately to Tom and Jerry !! Enjoyed !!

M.I.A .

Date: 1/29/2012 8:58:00 PM

what a witty haiku! straight on the track. thank you for stopping by and your kind comments Carol. truly sorry i missed your soupmail from long ago.

Bl Devnath

Date: 1/29/2012 7:44:00 AM

Simple but fantastic imagery, loved and enjoyed,bl

George Aul

Date: 1/28/2012 2:39:00 PM

Great images with words........George

Jack Horne

Date: 1/28/2012 1:20:00 PM

LOL, yes, I can picture this one! Thanks, Carol - enjoyed the contest

Kash Poet

Date: 1/28/2012 6:17:00 AM

Haha....enjoyed this haiku very much Carol.

Deck Fitzgerald

Date: 1/27/2012 9:04:00 PM

I once wrote about cheese but this really made me smile , thank you Carol Hugs Declan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 1/27/2012 8:38:00 PM

haha, remember that song, the mouse takes the cheese? Kind of reminds me of that. CUTE title for this!

Judy Ball

Date: 1/27/2012 5:40:00 PM

And the chase is on. Good job here Carol. You paint quite a cute picture. God Bless, JB

Jancarl Campi

Date: 1/27/2012 5:10:00 PM

this is a very interesting poem. has lots of action. did the mouse get away?? Hope you have a very, berry weekend. Take care lol, Jancarl

Joe Maverick

Date: 1/27/2012 4:54:00 PM

There should be a cholesterol warning on the mouse...)

Kim Merryman

Date: 1/27/2012 4:54:00 PM

This is so cute. I can picture this scene in my head. Love it. Thank you for all your kind, encouraging comments. God Bless. Love, Kim

Joe Maverick

Date: 1/27/2012 4:50:00 PM

I find this a very appealing, "though cheesy" write Carol" ( ha ha )....Its got that mature taste," 'can't help these comments..!

Sara Kendrick

Date: 1/27/2012 3:48:00 PM

Wonder who will be the winner?..Will it be the one with the longest legs or possibly the lightest weight?...Enjoyed reading and then letting the questions flow...Sara