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On the Bus

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Below is the poem entitled On the Bus which was written by poet Allie Lusha. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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On the Bus

Every week day, same time, same bus, he is there, and I’m careful not to stare
But I can’t take my eyes off his curly shoulder length hair, hopelessly wondering

A face not popularly handsome, but such kind bluey- green eyes, deeper than the ocean
Tall, not slender and a quirky style of dress, not to impress. He kept me curiously wondering

Briefcase, serious and tanned, but scraggy like a boxers face, taken from place to place
Manicured hands with no adornment, no subtle signs of betrothment, I smiled hopefully wondering

Today he caught me in my stare, my face flushed pink, I look away I couldn’t think 
But I saw his smile and for that short while my heart skipped a beat, as I sat motionlessly wondering

The bus had halted, where we both alight, my mind was racing as I caught sight
Standing on the kerbside, holding out his hand to me, I reached out breathlessly wondering 

Hand held firm but gentle, and like cheshire cats smiling, arrayment of colours so beguiling
‘Have you time for a coffee’ I heard him say, my reply what a perfect day, still wondrously wondering

sdited version, hope it's right this time

Copyright © Allie Lusha

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  1. Date: 1/26/2012 5:11:00 PM
    Congratulations on having your poem featured this week. This is a good write.

  1. Date: 1/24/2012 11:48:00 AM
    So smooth, it just slides off the tongue when read aloud. Beautiful job!

  1. Date: 1/24/2012 8:51:00 AM
    Congratulations on your featured poem this week Allie. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 1/31/2011 3:01:00 PM
    it's a pretty good version. john h loving iii

  1. Date: 4/22/2010 3:22:00 AM
    Great poem Allie liked this a lot

  1. Date: 4/21/2010 5:29:00 AM
    Hey, this is a wonderful poem... But there are a few adjustments that can be made for it to be a true ghazal.... Clever and well written my friend..... Soupmail for advice.....:JP]

  1. Date: 4/20/2010 6:08:00 PM
    Hi Allie, I found the form puzzling and after looking at many examples was still confused, but whether you have it right or not this is a great poem in its own right.I hope it conforms for it looks a winner to me.....cheers Margaret

  1. Date: 4/20/2010 5:47:00 AM
    I enjoyed reading the poetry you presented to us today Allie. Thank you for sharing it and may you have a day full of love and inspiration. I am sorry as I do not understand this form so I can not help you. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 4/19/2010 12:43:00 PM
    Beautiful write. I like it as is but I'm not at all familiar with the ghazal concept.