Odd Girl

I watch another lonely face walk past my window pane Drenched, covered in misery as she makes her way through the rain I listen to the thoughts bounce around in her brain I try not to burden my cheek with a tear stain I try not to feel her pain It'll turn me insane She dances in puddles With a boring frown Scars seeping through Her soaked morning gown She walks into traffic Looking down She forces smiles While her blue eyes drown She's odd But she's so pretty She has all of my pity She's strange She's got a different look And I don't know why But she's got me hooked

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Alexis Bracken

Date: 7/1/2011 2:24:00 PM

Very mysterious! I love it though....

Laura Breidenthal

Date: 6/30/2011 2:08:00 PM

I agree; a very vivid poem. Romantic and mysterious. Love it! Always Laura

Black Eyed Susan

Date: 6/30/2011 6:53:00 AM

you create a vivid scene. wonder what it is you are connecting with with her. this is not a criticism, but have you thought about taking out the first I don't know why in the 3rd stanza and then reversing your last 2 lines? It might make it a more powerful ending if you don't say i don't know twice and end on being hooked. just a thought...btw, I liked your face on my comments. so cute :p

Tamara Brown

Date: 6/30/2011 12:22:00 AM

great poem! very original!