Mysterious Man

Hurriedly, silently, in purposeful fluid movements
and long, determined strides, he dashed among
the thickets, bending and darting amidst the vines
searching for a perfect little place to stay and hide.

Stealthily and noiselessly he slithered underneath
lush, leafy overhangs shielding him from the sun -
keen, cautious, like a crouching, hungry predator
anxious not to draw unwanted attention to himself.

The birds on treetops hushed their singing in haste
as the woods turned suddenly still - frozen in place,
shocked,  stunned and unprepared to bear witness
to the mysterious man’s strange, diabolical scheme.
 
He threw a quick look to his left and another to the right
then jerked, turning his head around to make doubly sure 
that no human soul finds him in this quiet, secluded place
about to carry out his dark, sinister and unplanned crime.
  
Taking a deep, measured breath and now totally reassured
of being truly alone, away from prying eyes to a gory crime, 
in his madness he violently yanked down his old Levi jeans, 
squatted to the ground, grimacing, and…ahh, sweet release!

Copyright © | Year Posted 2008



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Date: 12/8/2008 3:29:00 PM
Pure entertainment. Between the poem, and the comments - this should win a prize for something. If I wasn't sick and with a horrible headache maybe I could think of something. Sean, any ideas??? Fred, you are simply hilarious with this write. Why don't you just use a restroom next time instead of playing Fred Bond super secret pooper? Muahahhahahaha! Love ya, Shar
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Date: 12/8/2008 12:08:00 PM
Great advice Fred! I have found time and again how difficult it is to adopt the lotus position when restricted by tight Levis, and now drop them habitually before attempting any form of meditation! Hilarious write. Nigel
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Date: 12/8/2008 11:25:00 AM
Christie , easy-up on the "guru " .... He is singing his old favourite song ; " See you later Meditator , In awhile with damaged pile .." Now you got me itchin'... Where is the Prep H ........
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Date: 12/8/2008 6:47:00 AM
I've heard of the phrase..."nature called"....well....in this case,...nature called, and nature got more than it bargained for!! This wasn't just a romp in the woods....this was a rump in the woods! .....Funny stuff, Fred!! :) ~ Carrie
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Date: 12/8/2008 6:47:00 AM
a mysterious and intriguing story. Is this really about meditation? i'm confused. kath
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Date: 12/8/2008 6:08:00 AM
PS , Christie , if he has no paper , I've 10 singles , change for a tenner !!!! ..Lordie !!!, meditation was NEVER like this ...... Where's my navel gone ???? ...
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Date: 12/8/2008 3:43:00 AM
Kristin !!!! , I may be a crap-writer , but I don't write about crap !!! .... Freddie , Pull your pants , back -up !!!! Hope you wiped ,well !!!!! .... Clever write , Fred , you're on a runnnnn ....
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Date: 12/8/2008 3:10:00 AM
P.S-who but you (or Sean!) could write a poem about taking a dump in the woods. lol sweet.
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Date: 12/8/2008 3:09:00 AM
HA!!!!!! Holy cow, this is hilarious! lol Yes, have we not all been here, at one time or another? lol keep 'em comin Fred, I need the laughs these days. lol Love, Kristin
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Date: 12/8/2008 1:52:00 AM
One of our friends was hunting, and had that urge, squated, and then three men came riding by him on four wheelers, he said he just waved as they passed...this is so cute, and an absolute emergency.....always, Christy
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