Home » Poems » Victoria Thunberg » 'my Unfillable Shoes'

'my Unfillable Shoes'

I have one simple question for you.
If you could, would you walk in my shoes?
For one minute, hour, day, month, or year?
But you can’t I fear.
Even if you wanted to, or I made you.
I’m afraid that request will never come true.
All I can do is explain.
And hope you don’t think it’s a lie…or in vain.
But here, I’ll try to explain.
Every day I see mostly blur.
Walk around totally unsure.
Of where things are around me.
Yes I can see.
The flowers, the trees.
I am blessed, and grateful.
I remain faithful.
But the depth, the distance isn’t there.
No matter how much I squint or stare.
But I do what I can, and get by.
No matter what I always try.
But this is just a part.
A start.
Of what I go through.
All I can do is tell you.
I can’t show you.
Or cause you.
To go through it.
So you have to take my word for it.
Every day I wake up.
Most days I feel messed up.
I walk around in a haze.
As if I’m trying to get through a maze.
My head, my leg, is always in pain.
Most people would go insane.
But I deal with it.
I get through it.
The medicine only makes me sicker.
Instead of healing me quicker.
With epilepsy.
You see.
There is always a risk of dying.
But I push on, keep trying.
I keep a smile on my face.
But it gets erased.
When I am accused.
Of this being what I choose.
Or that it’s not real.
You will never know what I feel.
But I tell you now.
I would never wish this on you anyhow.
I would never want or ask of you.
To ever have to walk in my shoes.
Not for a minute, hour, day, or year.
I would rather save you from the tears.
From the pain.
That I go through again and again.
Every day.
All I ask, all I need, for you to say.
Is I believe you, take my hand, it’ll be okay.

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Connie Gildersleeve

Date: 11/6/2012 2:49:00 PM

A poem of courage is all I can say. No one can begin to know what it's like to walk in your shoes. My hand is held out to you my dear. If you could physical touch my hand you would know I care that it'll be okay. I've lived in a broken body since 1981. Although our illness is quite different, my heart knows how you feel and I can only say God Bless you Victoria for sharing your poem. Keep writing my friend.

Victoria Thunberg
Date: 11/6/2012 3:08:00 PM

Thank you. This all started this past year. I went from being completely healthy to having epilepsy, mini strokes, and being legally blind. So I wrote this because people were being so cruel...I also wrote this for the epilepsy forums, and for people who are struggling so that they could have hope.