There are so many things I want to say but unable to find the words that would end this conflict that I have going on with myself. I have pondered this dilemma for some time now and yet as good as I thought I was at getting my message across or expressing my feelings I am at a total loss. To me , right now , is the most important issue in my life. Trying so desperately not to be a burden or bring any more problems into your already overwhelming world.I find myself completely at the mercy of the moment.
Truly the last , I mean the very last thing I would ever want to do is to create a situation that would crowd you push you into a moment of frustration due to my personal issues. With all there is of me I am trying to adjust , trying to understand , fit in , be accepted , just a few to mention .My feelings and emotions seem to be my most difficult to deal with . my strength of who I was and who I am seem to waiver with a weakness caused by so many battles life has fed me . Not being any one issue but an onset of many. More then I was able to cope with . Although I am still here , grasping at the ground I am standing on. It's not easy admitting ones mistakes , faults , or failures.Humbling to the point of being frayed and loose at the seams. Like being on the edge of a total melt down.
These words I struggle to find are there right at the tip of my sanity and feel if I do not find them soon all will be lost.Just the worst case scenario I can imagine . My heart so true , my life so real , my dreams , hopes and desires forever remain the same . It's just me , me alone doing all I can to understand what must be understood. Seeking the key to this very moment in time that will make it all good and right with the world and my surroundings .Needless to say more. Just wanting the opportunity and the time to pull it all together so to be the person who I know i am . Just not quite found .
Sincerely I am trying. I will stumble and I will make mistakes . But I believe with the help of those that do understand I will reach the space in this life I was meant to be in .