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My Slutty Aunt's Wedding

Natalie The Rogue Rhymer Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled My Slutty Aunt's Wedding which was written by poet Natalie The Rogue Rhymer. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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My Slutty Aunt's Wedding

I shook my head
Knew the day’d be messy
Some poor sap
Was marrying my Aunt Bessie

She’d slept with half of Brooklyn
Flaunting her exploits all through town
The mayor, the banker, the deli clerk
Even the birthday party clown

A wedding gown, so fitted
Her bellybutton showed
Boobs shoved up high enough
To violate building code

Minutes before the shindig
She pulled me on the roof
Snatched a flask from her garter belt
Downing one hundred ninety proof

She wanted to call it off
No way she could comply
To promise for all her life
To only screw one guy

I told her she could do it
Like many other people do
She finally calmed down 
And made her wedding day debut 

She stumbled down the aisle
Tripping on her gown
Her daddy kept her steady
‘til the pastor stared her down

She blushed but pulled together 
Long enough to give her vows
After the ceremonial kiss
Everyone went to carouse

Letting loose at the reception
She danced with all the boys
Twirling, flashing, grinning
Making all kinds of noise

I’d like to say things ended well
That monogamy she would master
But before the night was over
She got naked with the pastor

For Andrea's "Show Me the Funny" Contest

Copyright © Natalie The Rogue Rhymer

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  1. Date: 5/4/2014 2:55:00 PM
    This is simply marvelous...Thanks for the laugh....Tim

  1. Date: 11/6/2013 7:24:00 PM
    Nice poem... great story... very funny... Terry

  1. Date: 7/18/2013 10:45:00 PM
    Natalie, LOL, thanks for the smile... congrats! love ~SKAT~

  1. Date: 7/16/2013 5:39:00 AM
    Funny at its damned funniest. A double 7 to you on this winner. I'm still laughing as I'm typing this comment. I like, I like, I like. Licia :-)

  1. Date: 7/15/2013 11:57:00 PM
    Thay was a piece of work

  1. Date: 7/15/2013 4:03:00 PM
    HA HA!...I love it!...I know now why you call yourself the 'Rouge Rhymer' Natalie...From looking at your picture I detect a hint of sly wickedness in that smile...And what did the groom have to say about his new bride or was he too busy getting naked with the pastor's wife?...Congrats - Tim

  1. Date: 7/14/2013 5:41:00 PM
    Hello Nat, believe it or not, it is nice seeing you on Andrea's winning list... does this mean you are coming back, or just checking on us every now and then... what ever the reason it is nice seeng your name out in the open, congratulations in the contest.... mighty funny... love LINDA

  1. Date: 7/14/2013 3:36:00 PM
    Awesome funny poem!! :D I love your sense of humor, Nat..! Congratulation on your great win.. ~Shirley

  1. Date: 7/14/2013 11:39:00 AM
    Excellent write ! Had me laughing all the way through. This is one of the most absolutely creative humorous rhyme poems that I've read. Got me wondering about some of my aunts. Congratulations on your win:)

  1. Date: 7/14/2013 11:11:00 AM
    Loved this one... Congrats on the win...

  1. Date: 7/14/2013 8:37:00 AM
    I loved it once before.... and this one tops my list of "funny" - bold and very near the truth as to some weddings I have heard Congrats on your win, Natalie. ... Su

  1. Date: 7/13/2013 11:48:00 PM
    hahaha, I am looking at what I wrote to you a year or so ago about your poem .It never won the last contest it was in, but I am glad I did it justice this time in mine. You are awesome funny and I am glad you entered my contest. I mentioned you in my blog because I just have not seen you around lately. Hope you are ok.Congrats for your win.

  1. Date: 10/6/2012 11:52:00 PM
    hmmm, it looks like somebody was too funny for the judge. I went thru that winners' list and sure don't remember this awesome display of humor being there. I really love this, sure hope you post more poems soon.

  1. Date: 9/17/2012 5:10:00 AM
    OOOOPS!! .....What a gas this aunt Bessie...You imagination is off the Richter scale, Natalie...Where in the world.....????...hahahahha gwendolen ps...nice to see u posting intermittantly! :

  1. Date: 9/15/2012 3:48:00 PM
    What imagination! This one goes into my favorites list.

    The Rogue Rhymer Avatar Natalie The Rogue Rhymer
    Date: 9/15/2012 7:04:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks so much Robert :) That made my day.
  1. Date: 9/14/2012 7:32:00 PM
    very funny! i enjoyed this one.......

  1. Date: 9/14/2012 7:27:00 PM
    Super funny... great poem... Terry

  1. Date: 9/14/2012 4:10:00 PM
    OMG Natalie....laughing at loud...this is EXCELLENT! Hugs

  1. Date: 9/14/2012 3:38:00 PM
    This is a hoot! Loved every word. BTW I would also have had second thoughts marrying someone called "Butch". Bet he had tattoos and drove a broken pickup truck... :-) Love, Su

    The Rogue Rhymer Avatar Natalie The Rogue Rhymer
    Date: 9/15/2012 7:05:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    LOL Suzette-I edited and cut the name-think it flows better now :)
  1. Date: 9/14/2012 3:27:00 PM
    Very funny poem. ^_^ I enjoyed reading that. Thanks