My Inner Soul Still Strugglin

inner soul still strugglin'.... clothes torn child's scorn forced embrace slapping my face alcohol smell in my nose mouth held closed hands tied, i thinking why legs spread creakin' bed vaginity took as his freinds look fears and tears for many years pregnant at a young age mom in rage thinking it with a young boy at not her man as she beat me saying "she didn't understand" "i raised you better then that my child" "have you been having sex for a while?..." mom with blind eyes and death ears, what could i say or do after the termination of the pregnancey, he was still not through at eighteen i was compelled ...to tell i should have never done so denial first and then a harsh blow kick out of the house forced to marry burdens i carry not safe at home or school or church at eighteen years age this was a bit much no one to talk to so i begin to rebel though i never went to jail my mother took my son away and she reminded of early motherhood each day at twenty i settled down, started working a grocery store only see the monster that molested me more and more he stalked me until i quit that job ...filled with fears and thoughts of my childhood being robbed attempting to move on and be all that i could be my mom had no confidence in me low self esteem the world against me it seemed this memory will never end because my inner soul is still strugglin'... [MOTION'LES and LOST are two words that are found in MOLESTATION], this i was...