Magical School

When I enrolled in magical school Ma said good luck Dad called me a fool He always thought with my IQ I’d fix people up, Not saw them in two. But I had a vision And my self esteem Hung on the balance Of this simple dream So I packed my bag Gave Ma a hug Reached out to pop Who said with a shrug Watch each one of your steps Cause each one of them matters When you walk without looking You’re sure to splatter So take my advice It may save your life You can’t step twice On thin ice. I’ll show that man who I can be With a B.A. In alchemy I have no doubt that he’ll be glad Because my plan Was ironclad I bought all my books Most second hand I was so ready To beat the band But where was my room Did it disappear? I’m such a buffoon Then dad’s words appeared. If you can’t find your way Don’t lose your nerve It’s all a small part Of the learning curve So take my advice It may save your life Rolling the dice Is a vice I tried running down the empty halls But all the doors Turned into walls I shouted a chant, before weeping ‘Allah-Kazow-ee’ To get me sleeping I dreamed about A’s The prodigal son The star of my class Magic 101 But soon my visions Became nightmares I woke and screamed And if pop was there He’d say, when in a jam Take an afternoon nap Cause a grumpy head Ain’t worth a crap So take my advice It may save your life To make nice Sleep twice At last, I made it to classes But that first day I lost my glasses Teacher assumed I was a jerk Rewarding me A week of homework Then my trick cards turned red The hare’s sick in bed The bouquet looked dead So I called home, and said, “I’m failing Hocus Pocus Gotta D in smoke in mirrors It’s so hard to focus When all I make is errors Then dad said with much calm First give yourself a hand Before counting on others And soon you’ll understand So take my advice It may save your life Give yourself a high-five To survive So I practiced day and night ‘Till each ‘Abra’ Came out right And my Presto-Digi-ture Was more than Amateur Then all those D’s Turned into A’s Without tricks I was amazed Hard work after all Was a giant step for me But with dad’s advice I learned the mystery Each day is irreplaceable And comes with a caveat If you waste its offerings You deserve just what you get So take my advice It may save your life Being wise Is the prize