Zeus said to Jupiter, “I’ll speak in Latin if you please,
We’ve got a little problem with a guy named Hercules.”
It seems that we took advantage of a beautiful mortal gal,
Her name was Alcmena and now there’s trouble deep old pal.
For she’s had a son and dear Hera’s not too happy with the plan,
Because I let him suckle at her breast and now he’s quite a man.
He’s grown to become more than a mere man but not quite yet a god,
He’s strong and tall and handsome and the gals think he’s quite a bod.
The Oracle at Delphi has sent him to Eurystheus the king,
He rules over the land of Mycenae but listen here’s the thing.
Eurystheus has given the boy a list of impossible things to do,
The king gave him ten tasks to complete but then he added two.
So while he goes off laboring in order to make the word safer place,
By defeating horrible monsters with his guile and handsome face,
We should make sure to do everything that we can to hasten his defeat,
To show the world that he was just a man and we shouldn’t be discreet.
Because if the world rallies around him there’ll be nothing that he can’t do,
There will be no need for Mount Olympus and the gods who live there too.