Infant of Mine

Little one with fingers all curled Ready to take on this great big world Like a diamond in a mine, an oyster with a pearl Excited to be introduced to my little boy or girl Been waiting nine months for you, my surprise Imagining the color your hair, skin, and eyes The beauty in your picture would take first prize A smile creeps on my face as anticipations rise Oh tiny one I can't wait to meet With delicate hands and fragile feet But as I prepare for my infant to greet The doctor cries out "There is no heartbeat" Now the room is racing faster than a relay As I feel the pulse in my veins slowly delay The hope once there, rottens with decay Watching them with agony take my baby away I thought nothing was as safe as a mother's womb Didn't know it'd remodel into your burial tomb How I wanted this life to blossom and bloom Seeing now my happiness was overly assumed Couldn't wait to be like every superhero mom The one you'd always be able to depend on But I failed you even before your life had begun Now the blame and the guilt are eating me numb Oh God I don't understand why I'm left here so weak But even in my depression, it is You I seek Your knowledge is higher, Your plans more mystique Just don't mind this river cascading toward my cheek