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In Strangler's Wood - tanka version

Andrea Dietrich Avatar Andrea Dietrich - LIFETIME Premium Member Andrea Dietrich - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled In Strangler's Wood - tanka version which was written by poet Andrea Dietrich. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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In Strangler's Wood - tanka version

In forest dark where trees bend low
beneath a slice of half moon’s glow,
          silent shadows waver there,
          chilled by gusts of autumn air.

Quavering, as if afraid,
they fall on stumps from trees decayed.
     among those stumps the shadows creep
     and shroud a form that seems asleep.

Lightning flashes . . . Thunder peals.
A sight forlorn the light reveals
          a man, quite dead, in woolen coat,
          with scarf of death left on his throat.

The shadows saw, and now they quake,
lone witnesses in murder’s wake.
     They cannot speak, but if they could,
     they’d tell all travelers of the wood:

"We’re not the foe.  It’s one of you
that makes us tremble as we do.
          Although we loom and cause you fear,
          something worse is lurking here."

Then Thunder echoes in accord
as from the sky, cold rain is poured.
     And silent shadows start to shrink
     into a night of blackened ink.

At a dead man’s throat lies the rain drenched woolen scarf that stifled his screams. Cold Wind howls through decayed trees - witnesses in the shadows. For Debbie Guzzi's Metamorph Poetry Contest a rhyming poem changed to a tanka

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  1. Date: 6/3/2015 12:16:00 PM
    Crisp, explanatory !and easy on the ears. Very cool!

  1. Date: 9/1/2013 4:14:00 PM
    Wow! yes, I agree with Guru Jad. This is truly in the spirit of an Edgar Allan Poe poem. What a wonderful poem you have written here. Another of my favorite poets on the soup, Terry O'leary, has written poems in the spirit of Poe. I love his poems as well. I can't write poems that reach the caliber that the two of you have achieved but I am content with the poems that I have written in the spirit of Ogden Nash.

  1. Date: 4/25/2013 7:36:00 PM
    One of the best poems I have read today... It oddly reminded me of Edgar Allan Poe's!!!! Maybe it is the ambiance! Still, your significant touch is present all the way from the first letter to the end! ....... One of my favourites for sure!

  1. Date: 4/17/2013 10:38:00 AM
    Wow this is excellent Andrea. It is going into one of my fav. AWESOME. love phyl

  1. Date: 4/8/2013 3:37:00 PM
    Now this is what I call poetry. It all makes perfect sense to me. Most definitely going to my fav's, and it's been a while since I added to it. Bravo 'Utah Babe' <*> James :)

  1. Date: 4/7/2013 6:33:00 AM
    I've faved the original. The tanka can never get near doing it justice. - Red

  1. Date: 4/3/2013 3:04:00 PM
    Andie you made the long version which was rhyme into a single tanka? If so lines 1 & 2 of the tanka don't make sense to me? I think you should pick another verse because I think the long version is not made better by being abbreviated, the long version is cool & really creepy cool! If it wants to be something else it doesn't scream out tanka maybe pantoum or villanelle the repetition could add to the fear? Light & Love

    Dietrich Avatar Andrea Dietrich
    Date: 4/3/2013 3:19:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I don't understand the confusion you are having with lines one and two. however, I agree with you the tanka is not the greatest idea to morph my poem and make it any better. I was just being lazy because it's a lot of work to redo this one as a villanelle!!!
  1. Date: 4/2/2013 7:47:00 AM
    WOW!!!!!! I'm adding this to my favourites, Andrea. This is a prime example of why I strive to write as skillfully as you do. If this isn't at the top of the winners list, I will be shocked!

  1. Date: 4/1/2013 10:08:00 AM
    I hadn't seen this one of yours before now...and WOW! I think it's awesome! So is it's tanka cousin...I got two for one on my fav list.

  1. Date: 4/1/2013 3:02:00 AM
    Andrea this is a stunning write as always and it goes to the beat of the 'Thriller' song, excellent and good luck...David

  1. Date: 3/31/2013 11:58:00 PM
    i have to favour this sure debbie likes it too dear

  1. Date: 3/31/2013 8:02:00 PM
    Happy Easter, Andrea! You did a great job "tankalizing" the poem! : ) Good luck in Deborah's Contest! Ruben.

  1. Date: 3/31/2013 6:22:00 PM
    "I talk to the trees but they dont listen to me", "Whisperin grass don't tell the trees what the trees don't need to know", "If you go down in the woods today, you're sure of a big suprise" Aarrgghhh, you're telling me lol. They are both great Andrea, Good luck in the contest. Take care, Regards Richard

  1. Date: 3/31/2013 3:19:00 PM
    wow, I just love this one, Andrea. Congrats on your wins too : )

  1. Date: 3/31/2013 1:46:00 PM
    Wow Andrea, this is simply outstanding! Happy Easter! Love, Conne

  1. Date: 3/31/2013 12:17:00 PM
    A bit of a scary write Andrea, yet well written ! I'm certain you will receive many comments on this one ! Wow ! And I was just looking through some apartments to rent in New York, and decided to search else where because of some of the freaky crimes in Manhattan, some sounding awfully similar to your write ! Eeeeek ! Great write dear poet ! Have a wonderful weekend....much love, james

  1. Date: 3/31/2013 11:50:00 AM
    Excellent Andrea, the tanka is masterul.

    Zablocki Avatar Rick Zablocki
    Date: 3/31/2013 11:51:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

  1. Date: 3/31/2013 10:24:00 AM
    Andrea, l think this is what is called poetic wizardry at its best! Simply delightful.

  1. Date: 3/30/2013 10:45:00 PM
    I couldn't locate your featured poem; you have so many... Congratulations! Jack

  1. Date: 3/30/2013 10:18:00 PM
    Absolutely fantastic! I think you've got a winner here. Jack