I'M Calling You Phat, Not Fat

When I call the cool girls phat, they think I'm calling them fat. They get very offended and angry when I call them that. When I call them phat, they won't go out with me anymore. Last week a girl broke my nose when she slammed the door. Some of the girls kick me in the crotch and others poke me in the eyes. They get confused by what I say and now I'm a man who is despised. Yesterday a girl broke out my teeth with a hammer and then she called me a rat. If you want to succeed with the ladies, take my advice and don't call them phat. (This is a fictional poem.)