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Below is the poem entitled ILLINOIS CENTRAL REPARTEE which was written by poet John Trusty. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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 As he stood paper cup in hand by the drinking fountain on a train

 somewhere south of Kankakee, miles from Chicago,

 a quiet, pensive, older man was getting harangued by a loudmouthed, 

 blowsy, beer drinking, inconsiderate, disheveled and overweight woman.

 Aka, his wife.  

She finally shut her mouth after he exploded with,

“get your face out of mine, yo breath smells like

 you been eatin camel dookey for a week!” 

The laughter from the old men in the club car was deafening, 

so she just sat down and cried all the way to New Orleans.

This narrative for the comma contest is a childhood memory I observed riding the Illinois Central’s “City of New Orleans.” Circa 1955.

Copyright © John Trusty

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  1. Date: 2/14/2012 5:39:00 AM
    Congratulations on your win in Russell's "Tons Of Comma Fun" contest John T. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 2/13/2012 8:26:00 AM
    Congratulations on your 5th place win in Russell's contest...................S.Ronthorpe

  1. Date: 2/12/2012 2:15:00 AM
    JOHN,, stopping by to wish you a SWEET VALENTINE.. AND A WONDERFUL , congratulations... ON your wonderful win In this awesome contest. Enjoyed ;-) . have yourself a wonderful valentines. @lways & @lways *xox~PD

  1. Date: 2/11/2012 4:57:00 PM
    OH, John...what a memory.."camel dookey"..thats one Ill have to remember. congrats. BG

  1. Date: 2/11/2012 11:58:00 AM
    A great story well done. Congratulations, John

  1. Date: 2/11/2012 8:27:00 AM
    Congrats, John. Quite a story! Enjoyed. Great job. Have a great weekend. Ralph

  1. Date: 2/10/2012 5:33:00 PM
    Very interesting story that you have told in poetic form..Enjoyed reading this eve..Great one to be in the winners' circle..Congrats..Sara

  1. Date: 1/19/2012 9:58:00 AM
    Thank you for sharing your love of poetry with us here at PoetrySoup John T. I enjoyed reading your wonderful words today. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 1/18/2012 10:40:00 PM
    Heya John. I saw that you up-scaled my Clerihew in the comments section. Good to see you posting new poems. A concise narrative like this one is a pleasure for me to read. Sincerely. "Yo breath smells like you been eatin camel dookey for a week!"Ha! Hilarious!

  1. Date: 1/18/2012 11:52:00 AM
    Started out feeling sorry for the older man, then it switched to the woman. Then I thought...well "tit for tat" lol enjoyed !!