Sara Kendrick | + Follow Poet |
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If I Go First

If I go first and you remain
At Jesus' feet I'll wait for thee
I'll wait for you on this high plane
If I go first and you remain
I'll watch for you soon to attain
A Christ like body and be free
If I go first and you remain
At Jesus' feet I'll wait for thee 

Is this anywhere near Iambic
Tetramenter?

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Andrea Dietrich Date: 2/13/2013 11:33:00 PM SAra, I can't quite recall what that meter is right now, but if it is what I am thinking, you are very close to it, as Isaiah down here says. Good job. Login to Reply

Jack Horne Date: 2/13/2013 8:18:00 AM what a sweet write for Tommy, my friend Login to Reply

Isaiah Zerbst Date: 2/12/2013 10:10:00 AM To answer your question, Yes, you are close to iambic tetrameter. Line one is spot on, as well as lines 3, 4, 5, 7. "At the feet of Jesus I'll be" has the right number of syllables but is not iambic. You could substitute, "At Jesus' feet I'll wait for thee." Line six is seven syllables, beginning on a stressed, which can be easily fixed by adding an unstressed at the front, such as "A". I also suggest switching "soon to" to "to soon". Great poem of trust. Login to Reply

Lucilla Carrillo Date: 2/11/2013 8:58:00 PM Sara; this is beautiful and very heart felt. Thanks for sharing. Lucilla Login to Reply

The Situation Date: 2/11/2013 6:16:00 PM If I go first and you remain. I would not trust to poetic frame. I'd polish up and give a name. Give to grief a welcome pain. Login to Reply

Kimmy Thieleke Date: 2/11/2013 1:00:00 PM Beautiful .. perfect ma'am. hello and thank you so much for your comment i am honored. Login to Reply

Russell Sivey Date: 2/11/2013 12:49:00 PM This is just beautiful, a glorious Triolet, done very well! I enjoyed reading this tremendous write this afternoon! What a masterful piece, Great Work!! Login to Reply