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I just can't win

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Below is the poem entitled I just can't win which was written by poet Vicky Tsiluma. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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I just can't win

The pity…
I can’t stand the pity in your beautiful eyes.

If I could tear out my heart
I’d hold my hand over yours as you fight in
vain to keep the vessels from erupting.

Can’t you see I’ll drag you down with me?
I believe in love, it’s true,
but I’m ninety percent introverted. I can’t let 
anyone into my personal space. Especially you.
I just can’t do it.

I refuse to compromise and yet I’m surrounded
by impunity.
I dare not submit in the face of patriarchy
I spit on book knowledge in a society that glorifies ‘diplomas’
My arthritic bones laugh at me whenever I 
start a new exercise regime
My mouth craves sugar and my
heart spasms in the wake of cholesterol
My eyes shoot daggers at you as my
hand charms you with poetry. And yet…

The back of my head aches and I drown myself
in cheap pain killers and back door laxatives.
I mean, what am I to do when I can’t afford a brain
scan and my family is lounging in poverty?

Lately I find myself forgetting things, mixing words,
Misspeling phrasis… But I’m a writer…
Aaargh!!! Why is this happening to me?
Stay away from me, my love, my precious.
I don’t want you near me when I self-destruct.
Can’t you see??? …I just can’t win…

Copyright © Vicky Tsiluma

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  1. Date: 8/6/2014 7:55:00 AM
    This is well expressed, I can relate on many levels, I too am an introvert but live in an extrovert arena. Somehow I have carved out a niche. I need lots of alone time to recharge.

  1. Date: 2/2/2013 4:17:00 PM
    Vicky, a beautiful blessings with your creative top featured poem of the week. Take care and have yourself an excellent day... I know I sure am. :-) or should I say I will at least try. Always~ & ~ Forever*LINDA

  1. Date: 1/30/2013 5:17:00 AM
    Another very well written, expressive poem, Vicky!! 'Introversion' as well as society's cruelties 'presented'... Terry

  1. Date: 10/13/2012 7:57:00 PM
    your writing is superb. very painful. warm thought, Ralph

  1. Date: 8/13/2012 1:54:00 PM
    Well written.

  1. Date: 7/13/2012 2:37:00 PM
    wow really great poem!

  1. Date: 7/12/2012 11:56:00 AM
    I like how you capture the moment in thought very good introspection thankyou for your coment on mine poem x david scott

  1. Date: 7/7/2012 10:24:00 PM
    Vicky, congratulations In Joe's contest. Nice to see this contest finally up ;-) Good night PD

  1. Date: 7/6/2012 8:47:00 PM
    Great write, Vicky! Congratulations on your win in the contest! Ruben.

  1. Date: 7/4/2012 12:57:00 PM
    An excellent, emotive write, Vicky! Congrats on your win. Love and Blessings, Rhonda

  1. Date: 7/3/2012 6:02:00 PM
    Wow!Wonderful and awesome piece,Vicky.You captured my heart with this write.Great job.I love your dexterity....Keep it up.Congratulations on your HM.

  1. Date: 7/3/2012 1:09:00 PM
    Congratulations on your win in the "I Just Can't Win" contest Vicky. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 7/3/2012 12:53:00 PM
    Congrats on an awesome write, what a heartbreaking struggle. Love to you! Tanya

  1. Date: 7/3/2012 1:34:00 AM
    Vicky congrats on your win...David

  1. Date: 7/2/2012 8:21:00 PM
    Congrats, Vicky. Outstanding. Nice going. Kudos. hugs, Ralph

  1. Date: 7/2/2012 5:39:00 PM
    Great fun in your words. But now you know you can win. congratulations. Love, Joyce

  1. Date: 6/24/2012 5:57:00 PM
    oh, wait. I GET it now. Was it Joe who did a contest called "I Just Can't Win?" NOW it makes SENSE.

  1. Date: 6/24/2012 5:56:00 PM
    My gosh, Vicky what is this all about?? Gosh, you have me very worried if this is truly describing your own condition!! I want to know the "inside scoop" on this one and why it is for Joe!! (is this all symbolic??)

  1. Date: 5/23/2012 12:04:00 PM
    A strong poem Visky, well written. - Wish you luck in love and contest. - oxox Anne-Lise

  1. Date: 5/17/2012 9:01:00 AM