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I Just Can't Win

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Below is the poem entitled I Just Can't Win which was written by poet Natalie The Rogue Rhymer. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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I Just Can't Win

My wife said our sex life, ”Is always the same…”
“You need to spice things up, and rekindle our flame”

So I got onto the net and researched lots of stuff
I took tons of notes and soon…I had enough

I went to “Trickie’s Tricks” with a list a mile long
I even skipped around, humming a naughty little song

So my wife came home from work and entered the scene
I sported a mankini and mask…she started to scream

I chased with a feather in one hand and whip in the other
She dashed from the room, crying loudly for her mother

She slipped on the rose petals…the candles fell to the floor
I reached for massage lotion as she darted out the door

She left me hot and bothered, much to my chagrin
Whatever I do, I feel I just can’t win!

So next time… I’ll ignore her rebuffs
Tomorrow night, I’ll whip out the cuffs

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  1. Date: 7/7/2012 10:26:00 PM
    Natile, congratulations In Joe's contest. Nice to see this contest finally up ;-) Good night PD

  1. Date: 7/6/2012 8:45:00 PM
    : ) Fuuuuunnny! Congratulations on your win in the contest! Ruben.

  1. Date: 7/4/2012 12:31:00 PM
    Congrats on your win, Natalie! LOL, just hilarious. I can always count on you for a laugh. Love and Blessings, Rhonda

  1. Date: 7/3/2012 1:10:00 PM
    Haha! Love it. Congrats. :) Tanya

  1. Date: 7/3/2012 1:09:00 PM
    Congratulations on your win in the "I Just Can't Win" contest Natalie. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 7/3/2012 1:35:00 AM
    Nat, congrats on your win, 'Trickie's Tricks' ha ha ha...David

  1. Date: 7/2/2012 8:23:00 PM
    Congrats, Natalie. Excellent. Great job. Nice going. hugs Ralph

  1. Date: 7/2/2012 5:41:00 PM
    My goodness. She's probably still running. Congratulatioons on your win. Love, Joyce

  1. Date: 7/2/2012 3:39:00 PM
    OMG! dang I love this poem!

  1. Date: 1/21/2012 11:58:00 PM
    Great poem...loved fun..

  1. Date: 1/6/2012 6:07:00 AM
    Congratulations on your win in David's "Romance" contest Natalie. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 12/29/2011 5:56:00 PM
    This is super cool, Natalie. you have quite a clever quill for humorous writing. YOU GO GIRL. Congratulations.

  1. Date: 12/29/2011 5:12:00 PM
    Congrats on your win, Natalie! Love, Kim

  1. Date: 12/29/2011 3:46:00 PM
    Cute one..Congrats on your win with this humorous work..Sara

  1. Date: 12/29/2011 11:56:00 AM
    Great job Natalie! Congratulations..Best regards, Jon

  1. Date: 12/29/2011 11:47:00 AM
    hahahahaha! Oh, what fun this is, Natalie! You got me snickering here and imagining this so well! What a fun, funny write! Haha, loved it! Super congrats on your win! :D

  1. Date: 12/29/2011 11:35:00 AM
    This one is hilarious Natalie, the poor guy!! I really enjoyed this :) thanks for the laughs and congratulations on your great win in David's contest ;)

  1. Date: 12/29/2011 10:48:00 AM
    Ha! This is so hilarious, Natalie. This type of poem really seems to be your forte. Excellent. Congratulations on your win in David's contest!

  1. Date: 12/29/2011 5:18:00 AM
    I think I am laughing even louder the 2nd time around!! This is a great romantic poem and one which all boring spouses should read! Congrats on taking the contest to the HILT! You ROCK, Natalie,,,,Congrats on making me laugh...I think this one will stay in my head for the entire day!! Gwendolen

  1. Date: 12/29/2011 4:36:00 AM
    Love it, should have placed higher, Wicked humor girl x