I Hate the English Language
A friend advised "Cheer up, buddy, and don't be blue",
strange of him to say that just when I was feeling low.
I was thinking, what was so colorful about being sad,
only showed his English vocabulary was awfully bad.
"Don't vote for Obama, he is untested and green",
how come, I wondered, when he clearly got black skin.
It can't be that he descended from leaves or something,
darn it, I'm linguistically challenged and confused again.
Down with a flu virus I was told to take plenty of orange,
that crazy doctor must really be kinda stupid or dense.
He couldn't have meant dyeing my few remaining hair,
unless that weirdo was moonlighting as a hairdresser.
Once, running scared from a fight, I was called yellow,
I did not get it, maybe because I'm a Chinese mestizo?
At home my amazon wife who learned about the run-in
promptly served for dinner a whole piece of chicken.
"Why chicken," I asked, "when you know I'm a vegetarian?"
"You earned it, sissy, when away from that fight you ran!"
"You're deep," I said, "I don't get what you mean, honey,"
to which she replied "Just finish your dinner, turkey!"
Hm, different colors, then chicken followed by a turkey,
I'd never understand these things until my dying day.
Damn that English language putting me in this mess,
better shift to Arabic, Tagalog, French or Cantonese.
Copyright © Wilfredo Derequito | Year Posted 2008
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