I Am

I am tired of asking myself if you're ever going to make your way back. I am tired of using other people as distractions to keep my mind off of you. I am tired of catching myself when I'm at the bottom. I am tired of writing the same letter, but never sending it. I am tired of obsessively checking phone, expecting a missed call from you. I am tired of pretending to be okay. I am tired of feeling and appearing so pathetic. And I am tired of the way I act when you're not around. As if I am someone to be around. I am tired of the way the sky looks when you're not here. I am tired of the way I want him, because you're not here. I am tired of letting myself go to depressing songs. I am tired of not being able to focus on my actual life. I am tired of looking at pictures from a while back and saying to myself, "when things were good." I am tired of going back. I am tired of remembering . I am tired of wanting something I know I'll never have. I am tired of coming up with excuses. And other than that, I am tired of writing this letter to you. So take this, and run with it. Because that is what you always do.