How Do I Capture the Man of My Dreams

How do I capture the man of man of my dreams. When I see him and he delights me, I will talk to him. If he make my heart please. I will club him over the head and rendering him half dead. Thus, I will take him in my bed and when he awoke, he will not protest because he will be too week to leave; consequently, surrender is right to wed me by a minister and a witness to prove our joint being. And when, he is fully aware, he won't resist. He will leave to get his belongings and move in with me; in this way, we become one - the man of dreams and me.