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Hillbilly Frankenstein

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Below is the poem entitled Hillbilly Frankenstein which was written by poet Rockman Pritts. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Hillbilly Frankenstein

She asked him, "Why are you drinking
Before it's 9 am"?
He told her not to worry
She said, "Damn! You're drunk again".

She said that she was tired
Of him sleeping on the couch
She told him forty seven ways
He acted like a slouch

"Get up and fix the plumbing
Go outside and mow the lawn
Close your mouth you stupid ass
Don't let me see you yawn".

"Comb your hair and shave your beard
Look more like a man".
He rubbed his face and shook his head
And said, "How's that again"?

She stomped her feet in fury
As her fist shook back and forth
"I'm going back to mommas
If you don't get up and work".

So he staggered to his feet
And grabbed his britches by the waist
He pulled them up and stumbled off
To find a quiet place

He said that he was going
To the store to by some bread
But never made it further
Than his broke down pick-up bed

Thirty minutes later
He was wakened from his sleep
She took the backyard garden hose
And sprayed him head to feet

He jumped and ran to save himself
And find some place to hide
He heard her cackling like a hen
As she went back inside

He hid behind the bushes
Till he thought the coast was clear
He had to find a way inside
To get another beer

He crept up to the screen door
Looking in to take a peek
He slowly pulled it open
So as not to make it squeak

He slipped inside and closed it
Then he tiptoed 'cross the floor
Quietly he reached out
For refrigerator door

But something caught his eye
And he looked over toward the sink
That dadgum woman took his beer
And poured out all his drink

His head was bent in sorrow 
At the tragedy he saw
A dozen soldiers down in flames
And bound by Sundays law

There was nothing left to do
But go and take his seat
Beside his wife of twenty years
Who made his life complete

He loved her 'cause she loved him
It was paradise in hell
He whispered that into her ear
And she said, "Damn you smell".

"Get off me with your drunken breath
Go sit over there".
And so he went and slouched down in
His worn out easy chair

Quietly they watch tv
Into the dark of night
Then went to bed with word unsaid
And turned out all the lights

The end

Rockman  :-)

Copyright © Rockman Pritts

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  1. Date: 5/30/2013 9:40:00 PM
    Rockman, wow! I can't believe I forgot to thank you for the nice and silly poem you entered in my contest. A late late late CONGRATULATIONS. Thank you for the smirks and smiles your poem gave me while reading it. Hope you can forgive me, it is not like me to stoop low and diss all who support me or my contest. Even if I get no response, everyone still matters, and I try my best... Love love LINDA...

  1. Date: 5/25/2013 5:25:00 PM
    Very cool story, played out in real life many times, with variations, I'm sure. Really funny and sad at the same time. Cheers, Roy

  1. Date: 5/23/2013 7:52:00 PM
    Big heartfelt congrats on your fabulous win my dear friend! This is really great and very funny story! Thanks for sharing and the smiles! love/hugs, Leonora

  1. Date: 5/1/2012 5:41:00 AM
    I am just in stitches! What a story, I'm so glad you brought me here and for sure will get it in my faves. I guess it's a story many can tell but your way is best of all; kind of a confession to clear the mind. Hope your smell has improved and your love life Rockman. Thankyou for comments, I do appreciate what you said! Hugs, Elizabeth

  1. Date: 4/11/2012 7:44:00 PM
    I loved this Rockman! What a great story! I really like the way you made it funny but it was also very serious. Perfection again! ...Samia

  1. Date: 7/9/2011 3:59:00 PM
    Pretty cool; reminds me of the "wine" issue, though I'm nowhere near that bad. Anyways, thanks for the comment; actually I do have a tune for it, in my head; kinda jazzy.