He & I

Red lights illuminate the hallow night of life & unabashed cruelty Anxiously sitting at my desk typing words with little meaning My mind ventures into thought... Thinking about the past I pause & reminisce about the time when I was a boy Afraid to be myself, uncomfortable in my skin I was & am in some ways still that child I know everyone has their insecurities & fears I wish to extinguish the flames of self-awareness & shame Ashamed of being ashamed--I try to siphon the pain A hopeless romantic in need of love A distant dreamer who dreams of dreams A comedian in need of laughter-- To bandage the wounds insecurity inflicts Uncomfortable at times--in need of inspiration A right brain thinker in need of freedom I turn my gaze towards the harvest moon Sinking in the moonlight I drift into a sea of stars Starry eyed I soar through the Milky Way into a vast array of worlds unseen If only time would allow me the strength to conquer feelings I can't express Than maybe I'd find my way home Home, where fear is never found nor sorrow ever 'round Home should be a sanctuary from the chaos of mortuaries & hidden feelings Hopelessly in love I dare not speak his name For my morality does not afford me the inability to know right from wrong Too strong to succumb to the intoxicating effects of love Crippled in the ways of lust Thinking thoughts of physicality & the intricate arrangement of bodies intertwined I picture scenes between he & I, too embarrassing to describe.