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Haunted Brothel

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Below is the poem entitled Haunted Brothel which was written by poet jack horne. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Haunted Brothel

Her bony fingers stroked my hair,
I shuddered at the icy touch,
And when I turned no one was there.

I felt the hatred of her stare,
My heart was frozen in its clutch,
Her bony fingers stroked my hair.

I’d walked into the open snare,
My curiosity too much,
And when I turned no one was there.

I stood alone inside her lair,
The murdered prostitute was Dutch,
Her bony fingers stroked my hair.

The room was full of such despair,
I tried to flee but dropped my crutch,
And when I turned no one was there.

How stupid was the double dare,
I’d suffer now for playing butch,
Her bony fingers stroked my hair,
And when I turned no one was there.

For Paula's Unease contest

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  1. Date: 5/29/2014 8:22:00 AM
    This was the first one, on your Best Poems list. What a great read. You've told a fun, mysterious story here, and you've told it well.

  1. Date: 2/2/2014 11:59:00 AM
    hey, Jack, I just recently discovered this cool thing . Our BEST poems as chosen by other members are right here for everyone to see by clicking where it says "Best poems" this is your very best one as chosen by soup members, and I can see why!!!

  1. Date: 7/3/2012 1:29:00 PM
    Congratulations on your placement in the "Unease" contest Jack. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 7/3/2012 1:13:00 PM
    Ooh, eerie. I love it! Congratulations. This is a wonderful write. *smiles* Tanya

  1. Date: 7/2/2012 3:52:00 PM
    congrates on your win very nice poem

  1. Date: 7/2/2012 2:46:00 PM
    very spooky and filled with unease - congratulations on your win!

  1. Date: 6/30/2012 5:05:00 PM
    Beautiful and awesome piece,my friend.Great job.Congratulations on your well deserved win...

  1. Date: 6/30/2012 5:45:00 AM
    Jack congrats on your win, spooky..David

  1. Date: 6/30/2012 3:25:00 AM
    Yes like Vicky says, it really sounds eerie, scared by just reading, Congrats on the win with this wonderful poem.

  1. Date: 6/30/2012 2:32:00 AM
    Sounds so eerie! Congrats on your win Jack!

  1. Date: 6/29/2012 9:36:00 PM
    JACK, congratulations with your wonderful win in Paula's unease contest..goodnight *PD

  1. Date: 6/29/2012 6:07:00 PM
    More than a small amount of unease here, Jack. The villanelle form was perfect for this scary poem. Congratulations on your big win. Love, Joyce

  1. Date: 6/29/2012 3:15:00 PM
    Congratulations of your well deserved win. A great villanelle. Scary.

  1. Date: 6/29/2012 2:19:00 PM tackled a difficult form, and it is a winner!! Great work!!

  1. Date: 6/29/2012 2:18:00 PM
    Jack, look at this, Your first villanelle took the prize!! Way to go, big congrats to you, my friend!

  1. Date: 6/24/2012 2:06:00 PM
    That would be unease for sure..Good luck in the contest..Reads like winning material..Enjoyed reading this afternoon..Thanks for stopping by, reading and taking time to comment on my work..Sara

  1. Date: 6/23/2012 7:08:00 PM
    Hey, I almost forgot to check out your villanelle. Did you say your first one? Wow, you did a GREAT job, Jack. I really like this haunted tale. You chose very well your two main repeated lines! That's the crux of writing a good villanelle!

  1. Date: 6/21/2012 1:39:00 PM
    eerie yet beautifully crafted, jack...such undaunting poetic energy!.. best wishes and huggs!

  1. Date: 6/21/2012 12:13:00 PM
    Super poem... Terry

  1. Date: 6/21/2012 11:17:00 AM
    This poem is sure to win Jack, I just know it! It made me so very uneasy while I was reading it, wow! This is a wondrous poem my friend! I loved this write immensely! Great Work!!