I hate myself
I want to be stronger but I can't
I'm broken and broken I stay
just swirling in this sea of uncertainty
I'm in this whirlpool of emotion actions and I feel drained
all the essence of me is gone..
I can't find it...
I can't find the fighter within me
I just can't
I believe that I , I cross the seven seas looking for it I might find it along the way...
but right now
I got no idea where the essence is left
I just don't want to be
I don't want anything
my essence must lay crumpled somewhere along the way that took me to this place...
maybe if I check my steps I'll see where it lays
but I don't have the force to rewind it and understand what happened or what is going on...
I just don't want to be anything
If just existence decided to leave me alone I might get some peace.
But peace is something I won't find or so it seems.
So defeated I feel, there's no force behind my actions...
I can't find it in me anymore
I despise myself cause I'm wasting oxygen people surely will need in the future.
so I express my apologies darling unknown strangers