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haiku 33

Debbie Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi - LIFETIME Premium Member Debbie Guzzi - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled haiku 33 which was written by poet Debbie Guzzi. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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haiku 33

slush mounds
on the asphalt's shoulder --
wet mail

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  1. Date: 5/7/2014 12:00:00 PM
    soup mail...again

  1. Date: 5/7/2014 11:59:00 AM
    if line two of the haiku is suppose to be an action then this isn't a true haiku. on the asphalts shoulder is merely describing its position and though you could argue that its an action by being where it is i would consider that a stretch at best. Debbie, I'm trying to understand, the subject here..... SLUSH MOUNDS..... I hope the new example i sent you is much better.... Linda

  1. Date: 3/18/2013 12:48:00 AM
    Was not expecting that in L3. It makes me wonder how long that mail has been sitting there to be so coated in snow! You seem to really "get" what haiku is all about... love your work!

  1. Date: 2/1/2013 6:49:00 AM
    Just so it doesn't freeze and you slip and fall. Winter and it's slush. Great haiku 33 Debbie. Warm Smiles, Connie

  1. Date: 1/31/2013 8:47:00 AM
    yep! yep! that's winter for ya! :) Very well done. Hugs, Catie :)

  1. Date: 1/30/2013 2:18:00 PM
    keeping an eye on yours now Debbie, so i can advance my knowledge.. like this,,

  1. Date: 1/28/2013 8:58:00 PM
    Wet boots and socks too, describes the end of my walk today perfectly. When will it end?

  1. Date: 1/28/2013 8:07:00 PM
    : ) I love the clever twist, Debbie...never saw it coming!! Great job as usual. Love, Annalise

  1. Date: 1/28/2013 6:59:00 PM
    That'll do it!!

  1. Date: 1/28/2013 5:55:00 PM
    I admire your haikus. Love the twists in line three. Thanks for sharing. I tried and ended up with 5,7,5 syllable count.