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Haibun 1

Jack Jordan Avatar Jack Jordan - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Haibun 1 which was written by poet Jack Jordan. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Haibun 1

                             Haibun 1
He kicked the doors open with his one good foot clad as it was in a beat-up Converse laces removed a tough and battered old man wildness in his eyes long hair akimbo dirty clothes to match he rolled his wheelchair straight to me hand extended. Close to my ear his hoarse whisper Jesus, Jesus he’s all you need brother guessing that I too was a patient. I probably did look like his colleague that day a somewhat bewildered grin no doubt cautious uncomfortable body-shuffling sitting as was he. Jesus... We don’t need all this crap they’re giving us and (to the orderly) get your hands off my chair I want to set by this man. Take your troubles away he will we don’t need their damn pills just Jesus do you pray you have to if you ever expect to leave here. He held my hand again a tight grasp with both hands he never intended to relax. Remember me tonight when they come to you remember Jesus tell them to go to hell. His hand separated from mine as he was rolled back through the doors his voice fading still instructing me how to be, 	here.
				memory of light
				no bridge across the chasm's
				raging untamed storms

Copyright © Jack Jordan

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  1. Date: 7/27/2013 5:50:00 PM
    RAGING UNTAMED STORMS,.........hmmmm, there something it does to me .This is the brillante angle of this haibun!

    Jordan Avatar Jack Jordan
    Date: 7/27/2013 6:05:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you for the comment... Jack
  1. Date: 7/14/2013 1:03:00 AM
    This is quite different and a very emotive one. I really liked it. I hate this new advertising that appears and puts lines through our poems. There is one line I can't read of your halibun. It's so annoying!!

    Jordan Avatar Jack Jordan
    Date: 7/14/2013 8:13:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I havent had that happen to me yet. That' mighty aggressive advertising, defacing one's writing. I'll send you a clean copy via soup mail... Jack
  1. Date: 7/12/2013 10:24:00 PM
    wow! I know this anger very well... it's amazing, and bad at the same time, when one can punch out anger in this manner... hope he calmed... PD

    Jordan Avatar Jack Jordan
    Date: 7/12/2013 11:17:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    He may have, but I doubt it. This happened in a mental hospital where I do volunteer work. He'd been there for a while...
  1. Date: 7/11/2013 8:03:00 AM
    Stunning and mesmerizing, made all the more effective with the lack of punctuation followed by the beautiful verse at the end...This will stay in my memory for a good while, Jack - Tim

    Jordan Avatar Jack Jordan
    Date: 7/11/2013 8:59:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks you, Tim. It was a brief but memorable experience... Jack
  1. Date: 7/10/2013 5:06:00 PM
    Jack..this piece really stirred something in me...not quite sure what..but something...really liked it..i am a very spiritual person..not religious.I believe God is a God of love...not just waiting to keep score so to speak...anyway...loved your heartfelt words..

    Jordan Avatar Jack Jordan
    Date: 7/10/2013 5:27:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    This happened to me in a mental hospital where I do volunteer work. This man was very intense and very ill, but his message was heart-felt. Thanks for reading and commenting... Jack
  1. Date: 7/8/2013 10:13:00 AM
    Thank you for missing me .... I'm back (read my blog)!! - Good to be back, to read your wonderful poem again Jack. - Very well written! - oxox / / Anne-Lise :)

    Jordan Avatar Jack Jordan
    Date: 7/8/2013 10:39:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Welcome back! I will check your blog.