For Thomas

I'm walking out into the gorgeous summer day and I feel nothing at all; not the warmth of the sun, the melodies of songbirds, nor the cars driving by my street who haven't the slightest clue of what just transpired a mere twenty minutes ago. Yeah, since the news came to me not one lighthearted thought comes to mind. I'm in the back of the store, doing dishes to pass the time and I can't help but wander if anyone notices the blooming roses on my cheeks. They'd probably say something encouraging like "Way to attack those dishes!". Believe me it's not for efficiency's sake, I'm MAD, and it just so happens to bring emphasis to the saying "Use a little elbow grease". Anymore and I might just a punch a hole through the plastic... Yeah, since the news came to me things became way too real. I no longer felt like radiation that refuses to leave the atmosphere. No I felt much more akin to a ticking time bomb in the middle of the Sahara desert. I could die at anytime and it wouldn't matter what I was doing: Sitting on the sofa, devouring a bag of Lays and then passing out on salt overdose, Or walking my dog because the weather was nice, and then crossing paths with a baseball sized meteorite. I try to stick to the bright side of things, but the fact remains you died too soon, Tom. I wonder what flashed through you head just seconds before driving over that IED. In a selfish way I'd like to think you thought of me in those final moments, but I know that's silly. If I was a piece in your day-to-day life you would need a microscope to even notice I was there at all. As I sit here writing this I recall the time we watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre, on Halloween night in the old Stonehouse. We thought that was gory then, but it's most likely child's play to the stuff you must have seen in the last three years. The saddest thing of all for me is something irrefutably petty, but it comes to mind nonetheless. You paid for my movie ticket when we went and saw The Dark Knight. I remember how sure and confident I was when I beamed "I'll pay you back for this. Next time I see you!". Well that ship has long since sailed. Perhaps someday we'll meet again, mate, but for now it's just a waiting game. And today that feels like the game where nobody wins it's just something we play... NOTE: Two days ago I found out a good friend of mine died in Afghanistan. He was a soldier, and barely four years older than me...