Final Admittance Part 1

Baby you want to be my friend, why is all I can ask, Do you really believe that is a easy task. Where do you get off, telling me those lies, Then saying your sorry for my sobs and cry's. Playing with my heart, like a present on your birthday, Something to play with and hurt in your own little way. All those things you said, it was all a lie, All I can think to say….Why? Who hurt you and made it to where you play this game, With my heart and soul, your not different only the same. Your cold and you hurt because you have no heart, It makes you feel better to rip others apart. You hid your feelings and led mine astray, When all you had to do was tell the truth that first day. Why the games, I loved you I swear, How could you let me love you when you didn’t care. What is wrong with me, did you ever tingle from my touch, How could you pretend to be in love so much. How could something so special, mean so little, I gave you my heart , and you cant even meet in the middle. There was so many things I was willing to change, I was thinking of joining a church…isn't that strange. My child today he cried, did you even think of him, I wonder your answer, where would you begin. Not to make you feel guilty, this is my pain with to deal, I let him get hurt, cause I let him feel. Do you think I'm happy, because of things I've done, If you ever had a clue, that isn't the one. You see you where my breath, my everything, The one with my heart, my essence of being. Everything is different now, wouldn’t you say, I cant believe that everything has turned out this way. I guess you could say that I'm still in shock, This is all just a dream that I want to stop. I understand so much, some of this is because of me, But I can't see what I did, deserved for me to be set free. What would you change, if you could try, I think I would pick, the first time I made you cry. I still seek your arms, somewhere in my dreams, Then I wake up, to realize its not what it seems. That coldness has overtaken and seized, My heart and soul has very quickly freezed. I'm scared because this is not whom I wish to become, But this emptiness I feel continues to overcome. Inside my head your goodbyes I repeat, Over and over I hear them and I hurt in defeat. Below and above me, depression attacks, Relentless weight on my heart that continues to stack. The holidays are coming, another year alone, Again as always, no one to phone.