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Home » Poems » Gurleen Kaur » Emptiness

Emptiness

Gurleen Kaur Avatar    Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Emptiness which was written by poet Gurleen Kaur. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Emptiness

                                                               
Staying here with my loneliness,
I can't withstand this emptiness,
My days are full of sadness,
My nights are full of darkness,
How can I live without you

My heart breaks, my eyes weep,
As if i have never seen any happiness,
Don't you see what's happening!!!!!!!!!!

Can't take anymore this heaviness,
Please come for sake of my loneliness
Come and fill my emptiness.......

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  1. Ginesi Avatar
    John Ginesi
    Date: 6/15/2013 1:17:00 AM
    Block poet from commenting on your poetry
    Gurleen, This poem does not deliver as much as your other "Caressed" it seems to stay in the negative too long and it has no punch line near the end. I find if you finish on a great line it makes the poem more interesting and try not to repeat a word or similar the following line as it can become monotonous, just a few tips for you, the more poems you do the better you will become, you have to have the passion to do this and you will undoubtably succeed. John