Gurleen Kaur | + Follow Poet |
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Emptiness

Staying here with my loneliness,
I can't withstand this emptiness,
My days are full of sadness,
My nights are full of darkness,
How can I live without you

My heart breaks, my eyes weep,
As if i have never seen any happiness,
Don't you see what's happening!!!!!!!!!!

Can't take anymore this heaviness,
Please come for sake of my loneliness
Come and fill my emptiness.......

Copyright © Gurleen Kaur | Year Posted 2013

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John Ginesi Date: 6/15/2013 1:17:00 AM Gurleen, This poem does not deliver as much as your other "Caressed" it seems to stay in the negative too long and it has no punch line near the end. I find if you finish on a great line it makes the poem more interesting and try not to repeat a word or similar the following line as it can become monotonous, just a few tips for you, the more poems you do the better you will become, you have to have the passion to do this and you will undoubtably succeed. John Login to Reply