Emptiness

Staying here with my loneliness, I can't withstand this emptiness, My days are full of sadness, My nights are full of darkness, How can I live without you My heart breaks, my eyes weep, As if i have never seen any happiness, Don't you see what's happening!!!!!!!!!! Can't take anymore this heaviness, Please come for sake of my loneliness Come and fill my emptiness.......

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John Ginesi

Date: 6/15/2013 1:17:00 AM

Gurleen, This poem does not deliver as much as your other "Caressed" it seems to stay in the negative too long and it has no punch line near the end. I find if you finish on a great line it makes the poem more interesting and try not to repeat a word or similar the following line as it can become monotonous, just a few tips for you, the more poems you do the better you will become, you have to have the passion to do this and you will undoubtably succeed. John