Dark Memory

As I look, the world moves so oddly home feeling like a story and there's no tourniquet for my heart No, it's open, breathing air like lungs a deep hole, a night slogged by weary eyes under a sickly moon, and the night won't die As I sit, the rain pitches tears down the glass, down my face Heaving, they come, like the crushed dark lungs that the fog has always promised That I took like a pill a foolish jump, a compromise I'm so feverish, I'm so ill as the night descends, racking my bones, plastering my shaking mouth back drawing my eyes, cracked Memories sputtering up of the night I didn't escape, I couldn't get back, lost in the black a strange reality, counting each misplaced step and the seconds nestling into my wrist a record of my error of terror- trailing behind me in new sobs And though you know me you see my fingers recall a horror- a corner where I found myself collapsed like a doll My words, stifled but my blood in flight draining my mind pulling me away to the floor, my only door and you fight off this shadow, this pain like the man you know how to be burrying your heart into me So that maybe we can run away thinking, maybe blind, we'll be ok But oh, mistake this body's in the way This tangled hair catches sleepy knees pulling back my sleeves bursting with deep red wounds- red labels calling danger, which rears as quickly as gravity at a false step at a finger too enthused chapped at the water's edge Not curious for a muse But to save me To hold my shaking shoulders To be kind to me To pull me out of the pit And I'm just so sorry forgive me Love, forgive me You're breaking under my fallen fingers kinder than I am blue please, just be, I ache for you smile and stay as I fall You are too beautiful, too new forgive me Love, for hurting you I want you safe and One heart is enough to break So let me love you my soul, my empty lake Please, don't know my wake it's too cold And I need to heal...