Dark Memory
As I look, the world moves so oddly
home feeling like a story
and there's no tourniquet for my heart
No, it's open,
breathing air like lungs
a deep hole, a night slogged by weary eyes
under a sickly moon, and the night won't die
As I sit, the rain pitches tears
down the glass, down my face
Heaving, they come, like the crushed dark lungs
that the fog has always promised
That I took like a pill
a foolish jump, a compromise
I'm so feverish, I'm so ill
as the night descends, racking my bones,
plastering my shaking mouth back
drawing my eyes, cracked
Memories sputtering up of the night
I didn't escape, I couldn't get back,
lost in the black
a strange reality, counting each misplaced step
and the seconds nestling into my wrist
a record of my error
of terror- trailing behind me in
new sobs
And though you know me
you see my fingers recall
a horror- a corner
where I found myself
collapsed like a doll
My words, stifled but
my blood in flight
draining my mind
pulling me away
to the floor, my only door
and you fight off this shadow, this pain
like the man you know how to be
burrying your heart into me
So that maybe we can run away
thinking, maybe blind, we'll be ok
But oh, mistake
this body's in the way
This tangled hair catches sleepy knees
pulling back my sleeves
bursting with deep red wounds- red labels
calling danger, which rears as quickly as gravity
at a false step
at a finger too enthused
chapped at the water's edge
Not curious for a muse
But to save me
To hold my shaking shoulders
To be kind to me
To pull me out of the pit
And I'm just so sorry
forgive me Love, forgive me
You're breaking under my fallen fingers
kinder than I am blue
please, just be, I ache for you
smile and stay as I fall
You are too beautiful, too new
forgive me Love, for hurting you
I want you safe and
One heart is enough to break
So let me love you
my soul, my empty lake
Please, don't know my wake
it's too cold
And I need to heal...
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