Crazy Thoughts No 4

Babies have been known to crawl Up to seven hundred feet a day Better tie a rope tightly around them Or they'll wind up miles away Sex burns 360 calories per hour Who has sex for an hour Longest for me is seventy-three seconds Burn more just having a shower In Finland every Donald Duck comic Was banned a few decades ago Betcha can't guess the reason why He was naked down below Summer on Uranus lasts 21 years Packing my bags as I write Better not forget the sun tan lotion My epidermis is pure lily white From around the age of thirty Humans begin to shrink Imagine we lived to a hundred and fifty We'd be one inch tall methinks During a normal human life span Hearts beat more than two billion times So anything less than that huge number You're dead so it's time to recline About 400 different kinds of microbes Coexist on the human body They don't even wait for an invitation Like in-laws I find that shoddy Only one in two billion people will live To the age of one hundred sixteen Sorry for all you nice folks out there But I'm the one chosen it seems Giraffes can clean their ears with their tongue It's dangerous don't try this at home It might just twist you into a pretzel And even break a few bones! © Jack Ellison 2012