Crazy Thoughts No 2

An army of mites reside in our lashes
With mouths and tiny claws
Along the road to human evolution
This surely is a major flaw

Astronauts strangely can't burp in space
What kind of useless dribble is that
A feline can have over a hundred kittens
Now that's one pooped out cat

Some atheists put up Christmas trees
An identity crisis for sure
A cow can poop up to four tons a year
That's sure a big batch of manure

A woman once had sixty-nine children
Talk about barefoot and pregnant
With a dirty big bunch of kiddies like that
She could hold her own beauty pageant

Nose prints are used to identify dogs
Imagine if they used them for humans
Especially during the influenza season... yuk!
There'd be snot all over the policeman

The salary of Toto in “The Wizard Of Oz”
Was a hundred twenty dollars a week
That's a hundred and twenty more than me
Since retiring my new job is sleep

The tallest people in the world are the Dutch
They surely must duck around windmills
While kissing most tilt their head to the right
But those Eskimos rub noses still

© Jack Ellison 2012
Copyright © | Year Posted 2012


Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 4/1/2018 4:19:00 AM
Classic, witty Jack! The crazy thoughts have to go somewhere! Always, Laura
Login to Reply
Ellison Avatar
Jack Ellison
Date: 4/1/2018 7:25:00 AM
They bunch up sometimes and cause quite pain... so obviously I have to dump them or I'll end up in the looney bin... AGAIN!!! LOL (evil laugh)
Date: 11/13/2012 7:36:00 AM
You can't possibly be sleeping much in your retirement! Your brain in whizzing along at 90mph;) keep 'em coming!
Login to Reply
Ellison Avatar
Jack Ellison
Date: 11/13/2012 7:46:00 AM
Oh, I write this stuff in my sleep! Check out my other 'Crazy Thoughts' posts! Love and sweet thoughts, Jack xox
Date: 11/11/2012 2:24:00 PM
I'm either a wild thing or a glutton for punishment... LOL... Keep em coming and I'll keep enjoying them!
Login to Reply
Ellison Avatar
Jack Ellison
Date: 11/12/2012 5:21:00 AM
Hmmm... a wild gluton! V-e-r-r-r-y interesting! LOL Love ya, Jack xox
Date: 11/11/2012 8:52:00 AM
You ever wonder why you never see them go to the bathroom on Star Trek??? Things that make you go hmmmmm. Well done jack, off to number 3
Login to Reply
Ellison Avatar
Jack Ellison
Date: 11/11/2012 1:02:00 PM
On the X-rated channel, you actually do see them taking bathroom breaks. However, you pay a premium for those channels! LOL
Date: 11/11/2012 6:32:00 AM
hahaha..enjoyed your funny write Jack, have a beautiful day, love elizabeth
Login to Reply
Ellison Avatar
Jack Ellison
Date: 11/11/2012 6:35:00 AM
Thank you a bunch Elizabeth... always great hearing from you, my friend! Love and hugs, Jack
Get a Premium Membership
Get more exposure for your poetry and more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Radiant Verses: A Journey Through Inspiring Poetry

Member Area

My Admin
Profile and Settings
Edit My Poems
Edit My Quotes
Edit My Short Stories
Edit My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder

Soup Social

Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us

Member Poems

Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread

Member Poets

Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest

Famous Poems

Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100

Famous Poets

Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War

Poetry Resources

Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter