Broken Down Angel

In my kitchen alone on the floor i cry
anti depressants not working
people pulling for my happiness
and yet i am sad because i lack the personality i desire to try
i feel like a victom
in a world where everyone is the fool
in my mind i remember a world i am from and i am a tourist here
and my dejavous i remember the segments of
tells a story
of the time before when i visited this world
where everything was just like this 
but i had a different purpose for i was more pure
changing those around me for the next time we did this dance
if that makes sense

sure it sounds narcissistic
like in my psychiatricly ill mind and dreams everything revolves around me
how i believe i have the ability to communicate through telepathy with people 
across the seas and have them keep secrets for me
like i am flash gordon in dreams and weaving mysteries
and the bible is a blueprint for everlasting life that revolves around pulling off the 
one big april fools day surprise party mind game with me in the middle


if you had my mind and the ability to analyse your experiences
seperate them all 
and tell them all as seperate stories instead of one grand intertwining experience
would you understand me
my dreams are memories of alife i once lived
flashbacks
dejavous
traces of something lost in time
the life im living now
im just a detective on the crime scene
looking for the maker of the riddle
who offers the reward for the one who was awake and paying attention 
to realise 
gods power created everybody and everything on one day
and we are all one machine

I am a broken down angel playing hide and go seek with shadows
learning new ways to love
feeling predicted
by a world that begged for centuries for an angel to fall form the heavens
and im the only one that fell
and im here and there might be consequences for me not being perfect
and me no longer having wings

Copyright © Troy Nelson | Year Posted 2008

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