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Ralph Sergi Avatar Ralph Sergi - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Brandy which was written by poet Ralph Sergi. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Expelling a sigh
the scent of your breath distills
a vapor of love

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  1. Date: 5/5/2015 7:43:00 PM
    [the clean mint/ scent of your breath/ I sigh] senryu- since we know a sigh is expelled air there is no need for the word expelled - love has no smell & to be a haiku it must be objective! BUT to be a senryu it need not be - it can be subjective- so the first decision you should make is whether you can give up most of your opinions and write of sensory FACT which evokes emotion [then you write haiku]OR this is about your opinion then its senryu you want. Light & Love

    Sergi Avatar Ralph Sergi
    Date: 5/19/2015 2:56:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Hi Debbie: Thank you for your comment (or critique)on my Haiku. It was my first attempt at this form and after reading many , I WAS trying to evoke an emotion with a vapor as love as I love Brandy. (Or is it a woman?)I admire your poetry and I wasn't familiar with Senryu at the time. So perhaps you may be a little bit too pedantic. At any rate, please accept an Italian hug.
  1. Date: 1/29/2014 6:36:00 PM
    Wow....Ralph; so much sensuality spoken without the need for excess words. Beautiful :) ...though I like whatever 'breath' Disarrono falls in ;)

  1. Date: 12/11/2013 9:14:00 AM
    love the imagery... deep... Have a nice day..... -<-@ luv~LINDA <3

  1. Date: 11/22/2013 5:09:00 PM
    Ok very different type of write. I'm glad you enjoyed my booth my friend. cheri

  1. Date: 11/21/2013 6:03:00 PM
    Excellent, I love the smell of Brandy. Great Haiku. I admire this form of poetry, sadly I'm useless at it, but get great pleasure reading other poets work. Well done.

  1. Date: 11/21/2013 6:53:00 AM
    Thank you Skat and Anne Lisa. I am a brandy lover with a good Cuban cigar

  1. Date: 11/21/2013 5:41:00 AM
    - Sweet words of love in a haiku poem, Ralph.- Enjoyed it !! - Anne-Lise :)

  1. Date: 11/20/2013 3:34:00 PM
    Hello Ralph, wow.... That's one purified feeling Brandy leaves behind... Wonderful haiku..... Love ~SKAT~