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Benefactor's Eyes

From "The Defiant Haiku"



I guard … I ready
Looking at him who is sleeping.
The night fades. I keep on!

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Andrea Dietrich

Date: 12/29/2012 6:48:00 PM

This is an interesting one because I can't figure out if this is a someone sleeping who is to be trusted or not! (the title tells me one thing but the lines make me think something different)

George Zamalea
Date: 12/29/2012 7:22:00 PM

Andrea, Thank you for telling me about the confusion. Many poets of Poetry Soup have noticed it and they have been sending me emails about that. I read it back again here in Canada where I would be to read a couple of poems and I noticed it. But my intention with which the initial stanzas have taken by such dry effect I was thinking to make it as a mysterious speaker; it seemed now too dark to comprehend. Now by reading it I was producing in that way a second stanza (“personal emotion”) or ageku on such transition to show more vividly the form and condensation of these following stanzas : “Who is “ (the boy) sleeping” and that would give a new translation who may be the speaker and the subject. Nevertheless, I could also play at the old game of capping stanzas by changing it or expanding or adapting something new; but it would be a different haiku.

Benefactor's Eyes

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