Beauty Parlor

I own a beauty parlor but I always get things wrong. Last week I left a lady under the dryer far too long. She was under the dryer for hours and it fried her brain. They put her in a funny farm because I drove her insane. When I dyed a woman's hair, it turned green. I soon met her family and they are mean. They made me eat shaving cream and it made me vomit. Then they grabbed my underwear and gave me a wedgie that was atomic. They kicked my scrawny ass and and broke my fingers so that I couldn't call the cops. I think you'll agree that the time has come for me to sell my shop. (This is a fictional poem.)