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Basins of my Downfall

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Below is the poem entitled Basins of my Downfall which was written by poet Christopher Pitts. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Basins of my Downfall

cant believe the make believe 
and speak as it was spoken
forced to bite my tongue 
and break into the ocean
slipped off ledges filled with glass
and entangled in frustration
the water left its mark, and passed
and stole me from inflation
sinking down i begin to think of things i never knew
like why the grass is greener, and what if it was blue
the colors my eyes have seen could be different all the same
from yours or there's or anyone's, and those whose sights restrained
the smell of salt and scales, have filled me once again
and left me without thought of hope and breathing to begin
all life was lost, it was my past, distraught and always broken
to begin where i had once began, and strive towards the ocean
fought with sea and ship, with bays and freshwater shores
to end up sinking once again, in thoughts that could be yours
the hole inside my lungs collapse and fill me with the void
the water taking back its past, and culling me to shore
i rise and rise till all i see, is hidden in a dream
i wake to find the water soaked, into my shaky skin
burning lungs and boiling eyes, from pressures of the base
the things i see have taken shape, brought me into shame
the legs i flail, and arms i toss, have helped me once before
but all has changed, and all is lost, to the ocean floor.

-Christopher R. Pitts
Form: verse?
*was one of the first poems i wrote that made me want to keep writing. i still love reading it.*

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  1. Date: 9/29/2013 11:59:00 AM
    Excellent, Chris. Great write. Nice going. Congrats. Ralph

  1. Date: 9/28/2013 9:18:00 PM
    wow....good job with this one...congrats on your win :)

  1. Date: 9/28/2013 2:18:00 PM
    christopher, love your winning poem ......... LOVE ~SKAT~

  1. Date: 9/28/2013 5:18:00 AM
    Congrats on the win in the contest, chris

  1. Date: 9/27/2013 7:46:00 PM
    Christopher, , Congratulations on your "Beloved Poem" win. xox~ LINDA

  1. Date: 11/29/2012 11:30:00 AM
    A very belated congratulations in this Fear contest Christopher. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 11/19/2012 11:39:00 AM
    christopher, Congratulations with your thought provoking poem In Tanya's "What's Your Fear?" contest. Have yourself a nice sweet day.. always~ PD

  1. Date: 11/17/2012 1:33:00 PM
    oh, my, that would be something to really be fearful of! good description of it and congratulations on your win.

  1. Date: 11/16/2012 11:34:00 PM
    Congratulations on your scary win xx

  1. Date: 11/16/2012 11:23:00 PM
    Scary but I know this was just a bad dream. Congratulations on your win. Love, Joyce

  1. Date: 11/16/2012 10:58:00 PM

  1. Date: 11/16/2012 9:47:00 PM
    congrats on your win in the contest with this gem cory

  1. Date: 10/26/2012 7:20:00 AM
    What a beautiful day to sit and read the many diverse poems here at the Soup. I am so happy yours were among the ones I am able to read today Chris. I hope your weekend is exciting and so full of life and that you might find even more inspiration to write. Love, Carol XXXX