Awake

I wake up to a cold sweat and rushing mind,to cold thoughts and a numbing silence,to an unaware darkness and a fading light.. I wake up to ancient conversation and unappealing words,to a retarded system and a broken cycle,nightmares of mocking applause and secret disgust,realities of an outsider looking in,of an alien assimilating to the human race,broken by the need to appease and fit in.. I lay on a bed of smoke covered by the sweat of my mind,persuing a seemingly eluding ghost,the habinger of what and who i am,a desperately sought after explanation,a thornless stem that pricks none the less. In all i still stay awake,debating with the shadows of my darkness,wrestling the titan that is time and change,i stand a miniscure figure to the colosal moutains they are,bent by the shadows of their presence and ever looming dominion..struggling to make form out of this chaos,but in all this i stay awake.