A grenade was placed inside my head to suspend me from my hobby.
The smoke did rise and choke my friends as I exited from the lobby.
A wicked shadow my path did cast that long lost working day,
it’s a shame I had to go insane and lead my peers astray.
Men did come to restrain my progress as I ripped apart their flesh,
what kind of force can stop a man who’s mind is made of mesh?
Within my mind I seek an answer to help reduce the strains,
it’s a shame, however, how I had to feast upon their brains.
I know not were to take my sorrow in such a lonely case,
perhaps I’ll have to find my mind and delay it’s quickened pace.
I am lost inside this endless world of multiple fixations,
but why the hell am I the one trapped in Cocaine’s stations.
There is no answer from above or anyone down below,
I can’t believe I cannot have just one last flake of snow.
My throat has dried to words my ears must cradle and then eat,
I cannot stand or even move, were the hell are both my feet?
Here I am to pay for all my addiction has destroyed,
it feels as if my skin does crawl as anger is deployed.
I have slept with time and pondered long, finding a direction,
My heart is scared and bruised about, but only from reflection.
I cannot fix this broken basket I once called my mind,
I’ll never reach normality again; I’ll always be behind.
How could such a decent life be killed away by spite,
I stop and ask myself again but all I see is white.
The walls suck me in as I shiver from withdrawal,
my bones start to crack and itch as rejection starts to sprawl.
I have learned my lesson deep and wide to never use again,
but now I have to face the fact that I once did begin.
Copyright © Nicholas Hazelwood