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a soldiers song

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a soldiers song

I sit here all alone
Gives me time to ponder on what ive done
Ive known pain ive known loss
Ive even known someone take a shot at my boss
When I get up in the morning I think of the night before
Makes me feel old because the nightmares never go
I never knew someone like me should feel life so incomplete
When I was young I used to think of a career in my head
One with guns and tanks 
Me being the one with medals pinned to my chest
How far different life is I must confess.

I used to dream of telling the grand kids stories of war
Of the famous battles we won
Now I know what its like
I can’t even look someone in the eye 
Without the fear in going to cry
I still live in fear
If that day comes 
When one of mine
Say I want to go of and play with the guns.

How can I say no
When my own father said that to me before
He said why do you want to go to war
Fight in a country far away from this
Fight for people that don’t know you exist.

If I had only listened to a wise old man
And not gone away to that far away land
I would go to sleep every night
Without the dreams
Of why did these people die?
Now I am older and have a bit more sense and alarm
I no the answer to question above
I’m not telling anyone why I done what I have
It’s a secret going to my grave 
Of young men strong and brave

Now the years have past
Kids grown up stopped nagging at last
Of to college to further their mind
Wonder if they ever think what goes on behind these tired old eyes
Thank goodness they can’t see what’s buried in my mind.

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  1. Date: 6/4/2009 5:28:00 PM
    No true military person ever wants a war. Perceived ideas from childhood is different. I'm 30 years military and from what you write I would assume you were a good soldier but more important a decent human being. Don't blame yourself for false idealism taught by the system. Most wars were started due to governmental lies. Vince