A Lighter Shade of Gray

In diminishing degrees of denial and doubt,
I find myself taking inventory of emotional stock
to scan it for inconsistencies:

Let's see...
Right now I feel…
Confused, scared, angry, vengeful, murderous, and demonic.

Yet also…
Calm, peaceful, nurturing,  merciful, caring, reassuring, and reassured.

Who am I to follow the yellow brick road
that lights the way out of Oz?                                        (my Wizard seems so far away…)

Who am I to question the path it leads me on?
These strange and unpredictable twists and turns,
tramples and tumbles,
ups and downs,
highs and lows…

I’m just a lost and lonely soul hoping to reconcile
the light and dark,
the white and black.
the generosity and greed
the spirit and flesh.

Yet I only end up compromising my deepest held beliefs
in the hopes that I may live a normal life
and carry on normal conversations
in a world that is everything 
but normal.

Full of lost and lonely souls, who like me,
only seek an understanding shoulder to cry on,
that could lessen this tremendous burden,
lighten this harrowing load,
and offer true direction
towards a lighter shade of gray.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2009



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Date: 2/1/2012 6:45:00 AM
I have truly enjoyed reading your poetry you have posted here at PoetrySoup. You are a very special poet and I wish you the best in your life and with your poetry. Two thumbs up to you Yoni. Love and best wishes always, Carol
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Date: 8/9/2009 12:43:00 PM
Great work (as always), Yoni! My "Wizard" seems to be far away as well and I'm searching for a yellow brick road that will lead me to a happier life. I have been moving or I would have commented earlier. Still much work to do, but I have missed you and others here at the Soup! Love you, Yoni! Carolyn
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Date: 8/5/2009 8:23:00 PM
Reminds me of the Procul Harem Song - "A Lighter Shade of Pale". Touching poem. Did you ever e4nter the "haunting" contest which I tagged you for? Yours Matthew Anish
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Date: 8/5/2009 4:14:00 AM
Very nicely done and expressing what so many are feeling. Thanks for your comments on my poem about stressed/desserts. You are the only one that got it. I do have a tendency to want sugar when I am stressed and that doesn't help so they say and adds to the problem. I enjoy reading your work. You are very expressive. I have tried to do some different techniques to get down what I want to say. Sara
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Date: 8/4/2009 10:02:00 PM
You're at it again Edgar! Lol! No, I can surely understand these time. Excellent writ, Yoni! Sarah? she is accused of being stupid, but still stands by her own virtues. I respect that! Blessing Moses
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Date: 8/4/2009 3:53:00 PM
Yoni, your write goes so deep into the soul.Awesome. Love, Carol
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Date: 8/4/2009 3:27:00 PM
i love the lighter shade of gray Yoni --so talented you are--love your writes,they speak truth and depth--charma
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Date: 8/4/2009 12:59:00 PM
I hear ya. Spent Sat. discussing what the heck does normal mean??? and average? Humans sometimes as so busy defining and qualifying they refuse to live. Light & Love
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