Short Upchuck Poems

He called himself Homer the house cat
And mostly ate tuna with pork fat
After lunch he'd meow
'Nearly upchuck his chow!
And grin like an overstuffed wombat!...

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Yikes, kikes and three wheel bikes
Hide the kiddies, it's a scary night
Pull up the covers
Creepies do hover
Might upchuck your poutine, oh whatta sight!...

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There was a man who had a drool bucket
he would sit at the beach and upchuck it,
when bikinis strolled he'd ooze
it got much worse when he'd booze...
Poor Otis is now banned from Nantucket!...

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Ah, this sea
Of filth and pee
A cesspool of germs 
That swiftly churns
A dreadful place
To hunch my face
I squirm and I moan
Over this so-called throne
To gag and hurl
My insides whirl
I stop to breathe
While I gasp and heave
I wipe off the drips
Of spittle on my lips
And clench my gut
Hope for anything but
A second round
Lift myself off the ground
To flush this sea
Of my debris
Watching it drain
As I try to refrain
Another wretched bend
Over my porcelain friend...

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STUCK LIKE CHUCK
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck's luck was sucked and fukked up and struck by upchuck?
Upchucked struck, sucked and fukked luck like a stuck up duck with a stuck dumptruck and twenty two bucks,
how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood real good where he should?
I got a fuuck for a duck, a duck for a k, and a twenty dollar bill for a fukked up duck, and I don't give a fukk how much a woodchuck chucks fukk A ducK...

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