Wishes and Thoughts

I must be one to hate secrets for it's not one that my thoughts dictate my entire entity My thoughts wander freely like rabbits at night touching subjects labeled in bold: 'KEEP AWAY' And in still, all I reside in my hope tank my very wish: to find a love all my own In denial, I could've sworn I've found her I could be myself, I could relieve my deepest troubles spill my contents of my deepest fears into her ears, my novel yet it took a single flaw on my part simple things I just couldnt get right My overthinking picked a fight with me and I lost while an unknown anger kicked me when I was down and at the curb of inquiries along with untold feelings was I left to fend for myself, tackle my struggles without a guide when desperately I was silently calling out for one was I left to wait another day debate if I needed any of this Why can't somebody, anybody tell me, show me All the things I need to do, hidden from me I fall prey to lost while she falls in love with smiling apart from me Chasm, do you have room for a tenant What am I supposed to do I barely manage a smile just to turn away only wishing out that she could open her eyes and see.. Is everyday a foreshadow of the misery I endure A perpetual happy never after mystification of my wishes wishes and thoughts Was I wrong to want one more time her hand to hold and to feel her arms embrace a temporary home for my wayward soul now I stand miles away knowing I'm excommunicate