Who I Am Part 1

Once long ago in the fifth grade I had a small vocabulary. Maybe from the hill folk family where I grew up On Caytons' Hill. We were not hillbillys. There is a big difference. They now teach this stuff, in college courses, our Appalachian way. My Dad had a sixth grade education, my Mom an eighth but they wanted more from me. We didn't leave the farm, except for school, and Mom finally left a few years back, when my brother went bankrupt and lost it. We didn't much socialize outside of our family. Me and my brother would walk to the general store if, after our chores were done we were hired by another farmer, we got two dollars for a couple hours work. We had all we needed. We had food and clothes and shelter and love though no one ever said the word. We were taught to survive, but who could survive that boy in the 5th grade? He mocked me, he made fun of my vocabulary, and laughed. Then, the second stair from the top, he tripped me. He tripped me on those metal, asphalt stairs built in the 1800's and I rolled with it, but it hurt me, a joke. Perhaps maybe I am the biggest joke around. Boy, I sure proved him wrong with all my eloquent wording and such But when does it stop? I'm "just me".. of all the things I could ever do and do with my best, is to show you what matters the most of course. It is proper manner. Beautiful is beautiful. There are beautiful cars, and limousines. There are beautiful skies and dreams, but I am not a beautiful lady. I wasn't meant to be, but actor Johnny D in Kentucky said that I was pretty. It kind of made me feel like the first time a boy called me that, and I didn't think so but I smiled anyway, because he was serious. I got called gorgeous and enchanting, then I was drugged for sex at eighteen, and I guess I've always allowed those things at times. I guess the best way how to relate to you now is to simply be myself. Truthfully, you probably think this is crazy writing, but it's not. Crazy is as crazy does and I feel pretty fluff, like a cloud or something furry, ya know?