Unfocused

I felt my thoughts screaming I knew it had to be the reason Your demons come to haunt me The same demons I'm always feenin' It's not the time and place I keep thinking I'm too awake for this.. My heart aches a symptom Of the lack of strength That I face because my hormones Are not the same My body fights with my emotional state I want to meditate but my head is Just to weak for this ish But I know I'm stronger than this.. I keep fighting the negative thoughts With the positive ideas that maybe We aren't ideal for not even a friendship My head feels like I'm super unfocused I can't even think of my future With out thinking of killing myself Or probably destroying everything that has Hurt me Because I'm broken.. I was doing so good fixing myself until I noticed That I was truly just hurting myself I get pissed off that I can't control it Then I have a mental breakdown and It's when I notice That I have a home and a life and people Who truly care about my feelings Iam here worried about the one niqa that broke me When did it become unnoticed Or simply I made it unnoted... I ask for guidance from my angels They just stare at me like Like the girl in the memes The one with her hand out looking real Dumbfounded by the idea that I'm even crying I could be a child of the indigo but I'm too worried about miniscule ideas Feelings too tiny to even hurt a fly I need to stop and breathe I'm too creative and too precious to die.