Anson Decker Poet Narrative

Notes About The Poem

A story intending to convey a strong impetus for positive life change set within a grim tale of a young woman who sets about merely to imagine.  There’s no turning back from what actually happens.    

Twelve Minutes Ago

I nestle a tab under my tongue
At just twenty eight, I’m still quite young

Before too long
I feel it coming on strong

Dreamily, lazily
I see my past with new clarity
Every question now answered amply

I see nearly three decades filled with so much regret
An eternity before I’m permitted to forget

I lead an unremarkable life 
Few advantages, laden with strife

Only now can I see the failure of MY choices
Surrounded by better options, my compassion convulses 

I can do so much more
So many different ways to create  joy galore
Menial tasks needn’t be a chore

It’s always been my choice
Is it OK if I choose to rejoice?

I can find ways to enhance my self respect
With others in need I choose to connect
What I have I can celebrate 
What I want needn’t devastate

It’s always been my choice
Is it OK if I choose to rejoice?

I can 
Live without disdain 
Lost friends I’ll regain 
Feel pride when sought-out comforting others in pain
Embody excitement, accepting the occasional mundane

I can 
Teach
Convey hope with new found reach
Channel empathy through innovative speech

It’s always been my choice
Is it OK if I choose to rejoice?

I have more control than I know
Now is my chance to let it show

There can be more laughter 
With humor, I can be an injector 
Mastering quiet, when others speak I’m an active listener

I can read more, learn more, invest in myself
Spend my time with greater purpose
Sprinkling fun into drudgery I’m tireless 

How do I know, 
This leads to a more fulfilling existence
A life of broad acceptance
In which I make a difference

I see all of this with great clarity
Only now
Because
I died, 
Twelve minutes ago

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Greg Hladky December 23, 2019 at 4:03 PM A deeply moving poem with a chilling end that clinches it. Reminds me of "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge." Good to see it as a featured poem this week.

J Hamilton Gist March 22, 2017 at 8:18 PM Check out my joints when you have time.

J Hamilton Gist March 22, 2017 at 8:14 PM That's a deep one my friend.

Debbie Duncan March 19, 2017 at 6:33 PM nice write! I liked it :)

Maureen McGreavy Pigeon Tart February 20, 2017 at 10:19 PM Anson, it didn't read to me like a suicide even with the intro note, rather a tale of an eye opening life changing acid trip. I guess this beholder is an optimist, creating a beginning out of your ending. Anson Decker February 22, 2017 at 8:07 PM I absolutely love that interpretation Maureen, what is death anyway?

Joshua Dusome February 20, 2017 at 11:02 AM Hey, this was an awesome read. I got chills at the end. I imagine a soul rejoicing for the lessons learned in the aftermath of a difficult life. Anson Decker February 22, 2017 at 8:08 PM Hey brother......a rejoicing soul in the aftermath of a difficult life .... spot on..... a warning to the rest of us, before its too late.

Madeleine Loggia February 20, 2017 at 8:24 AM Good read Anson Decker February 22, 2017 at 8:09 PM Thank you Madeleine. I appreciate the encouragement. Anson

Ralph Sergi February 19, 2017 at 2:06 PM Hi Decker: A beautiful by poignant poem on the musings of suicide. Anson Decker February 22, 2017 at 8:11 PM Hey Ralph ..... interesting take. Was it suicide? What did she intend, what was she searching for as she placed the tab under her tongue. So many questions.